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therenlover · 4 years ago

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How The Evans (+ Quicksilver) Would React To Yoplait’s New Gushers Yogurt

a/n: I don’t honestly know how I came up with this. I guess I just really liked the yogurt I bought (I have big Gilear Faeth vibes rn) and decided I wanted to share it with all the Evans and you guys. I hope you enjoy and, like, maybe go buy some if you’re intrigued.

Warnings: Mild language, very small non-graphic mention of murder, recreational drug usage (Tate is a stoner, sue me)

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Tate Langdon

Because he died as a teen in the early 90′s, Tate would be a big fan of the types of crazy, super processed and flashy snacks that came out of that era.

Tate pretty much lived on 3D Doritos and Crystal Pepsi before his death. He still misses Dunkaroos.

He also has the biggest appetite of any ghost in the house because when he smokes he gets phantom munchies, so he sneaks into the kitchen and steals snacks to fulfill his cravings.

His first encounter with gushers yogurt would be on a snack run for the two of you while you were both zooted to high hell.

He would return almost entirely snackless, fully fixated on the little yellow cup in his hand.

“What the hell is this?” “Uh, yogurt?” “No, it’s not just yogurt, it’s weird!”

You’d finally look up from your place on the bed to find Tate in the doorway, red eyed, giving the yogurt cup a thousand yard stare.

Tate would be extremely confused because as far as he knew gushers were filled fruit snacks and definitely did NOT belong inside yogurt.

“Does it have gushers in it or something? Because that sounds awful,” “Kind of? It’s like... well, it would be easier to show you than to explain it. Did you bring a spoon?”

Of course he hadn’t.

When he did return with a spoon the two of you shared it.

Unsurprisingly, Tate didn’t hate it. It was a little weird, but overall it reminded him of the rare good times he had when he was still alive and the house hadn’t fully sunk it’s claws into him yet.

His favorite flavor is green apple. It just matches his vibe.

Kit Walker

Kit is a man with pretty old fashioned values. He’s the kind of person who believes that he should be able to provide for his family so you don’t have to work. He also thinks it’s important for you to spend time with the kids because he’s gone at work so much.

This whole situation combined with the fact that money was a little tight led to you taking Thomas and Julia with you whenever you had to run errands and they weren’t at school.

One such time you were grocery shopping. That’s when they found the gushers yogurt.

Kids have an eye for sweet things. Any food labelled like a dessert will make them go crazy, even if it’s just a flavored yogurt.

In the end you bought a few. They were cheap enough that they didn’t make a huge difference to your budget and they were perfect to go in the kids lunches.

Only the next morning did you realize that when you got the kids their yogurts you forgot to get Kit his own plain ones to put in his lunch. You mulled over your options and, in the end, decided to give Kit one of the gushers ones in his lunch pail for work. it’s just flavored yogurt, what could go wrong?

A lot, apparently.

At around lunch time you got a call from Kit at the shop.

“Mrs. Walka’, I believe I might have picked up the wrong lunch today,”

You’d immediately ask him what was wrong before remembering the yogurt.

“Nope, that’s yours Kit,” “Sweetheart, you’re killing me,” “Did I forget a spoon?”

Kit would explain, after some laughter, that the guys at the auto shop were giving him shit about the ‘kids yogurt’ in his lunch.

If you tried to apologize he’d stop you. It was all the same to him, he just wanted to make sure he hadn’t taken one of the kid’s lunches accidentally.

You’d laugh about it later as a bright spot in what ended up to be a long and tedious day for the both of you.

Besides that one occasion Kit wouldn’t eat gushers yogurt often, but sometimes if he was home during breakfast he’d have a cup of it with his cereal or toast.

He’s a fan of the classics, so his favorite flavor is tropical punch.

Kyle Spencer

Before his death, Kyle wouldn’t have any strong feelings towards gushers yogurt besides liking that it was a cheap snack that went on sale a lot.

As a broke college student with a calcium deficiency, he would appreciate it for what it was, a sweet means to an end.

After his death, though, it would be a different story.

Franken-Kyle had to re-learn all of his basic life skills from the ground up after the accident, which meant chewing food and not choking weren’t things he knew how to do automatically

In the time while he still couldn’t eat by himself, you fed him a lot of yogurt.

Most of the time it was cheaper and more pleasant that the baby food or health puree alternatives. It also was a food he had eaten pretty regularly when he was alive, so you thought it might make him happy to have some sense of normalcy in his new world.

He enjoyed the gushers yogurt particularly for a few reasons.

For one, it had fun colors! The bright reds, blues, and greens were entertaining and more mentally stimulating than the normal neutral colors of his food. It was also sweet, kind of like a dessert instead of a meal.

The big selling point, though, was the popping bubbles inside.

For a while after his death all Kyle ate were smooth semi-liquid foods he couldn’t possibly choke on while he re-learned how to feed himself. Gushers yogurt, though, had little popping bubbles that added texture while also not being large enough to choke on.

It was a win-win for both of you.

Even once Kyle had regained his ability to chew and eat normally, he still liked to have gushers yogurt with his breakfast.

“Bu...bbles,” “Huh?” “I want....bubbles” “Oh! You want the yogurt with the bubbles, Ky? I’ll get it in a second,”

He wouldn’t have the words to express it, but the real reason Kyle likes gushers yogurt and continues to eat it is that it reminds him of you and the time you spent together while you taught him how to live again.

His favorite is blue raspberry by a large margin. He enjoys tropical punch too, but he dislikes green apple.

Jimmy Darling

Jimmy has very few opinions when it comes to food. To him, eating is just something he has to do to keep himself alive and performing, so he doesn’t put much thought into what and when he eats, even at the diner.

When you first met him, he was barely eating one good meal a day just because he was so busy.

So, one of the things you started to do when you and Jimmy got closer was bring him little snacks throughout the day he could eat quickly to keep him going.

They weren’t huge things, just an apple here and a sandwich there, but Jimmy really appreciated you putting in the effort to search him out and keep him healthy.

The gushers yogurt would be introduced, once again, because it’s super inexpensive.

You were out shopping for Jimmy’s snacks when you found it on sale, 20 for $10. It was a great deal, and Jimmy’s diet was severely lacking in calcium, so you bought a bunch of different flavors and brought one to him as a trial-run the next day after a performance.

“Hey dollface, you got something for me?” “I just might,”

Only after he swept you up into a crushing hug would you be able to offer him the yogurt, which he’d take gratefully and eat in less than a minute.

You took this as a good sign, and ended up buying some for Jimmy whenever it was on sale.

He asked you about why you bought them once and you genuinely couldn’t give him an answer. You just thought they were an easy snack and found they were on sale a lot more often than other things were.

Jimmy doesn’t have a favorite flavor, but if you asked him he’d just respond with whatever your favorite was.

James Patrick March

James Patrick March doesn’t usually have strong feelings about trivial things. As a serial killer and a ghost, small strange details of life in the 21st century just aren’t important enough for him to care about. Even modern foods with all of their artificial dyes and preservatives don’t tend to bother him. Well, all except one...

He fully believes that gushers yogurt is the worst, most evil thing that man has ever created in history, including himself.

It is entirely irrational how much he hates it.

The weirdest part is that he doesn’t mind how it tastes, he just has a random grudge against it by principle.

The first time he saw it was after Liz picked some up for you while she was out getting some groceries for the hotel.

James had come into the habit of asking you to make him grocery lists so the hotel had foods you enjoyed ever since the hoover stew incident. This time you had asked for something sweet you could eat as a snack between meals. Liz ended up picking out the gushers yogurts along with a few other little snacks

When you ran down to the kitchen to help Liz and Iris put the groceries away you grabbed a cup and ended up taking it upstairs so you could eat something while you were reading in bed.

It just so happens that James was finishing up with some office work and walked into your room right as you ate a spoonful of the bright blue yogurt.

He was, to say the very least, concerned.

Why was it that color? Food is not supposed to be that color???? And what were those little lumps?

While he fussed over your health, you held out your spoon and offered him a bite. He was skeptical at first, and his fears were only confirmed when he accepted the bite.

His delicate 1920′s tastebuds couldn’t take it.

“Darling, how do you eat that slop?” “James, it’s just yogurt!” “That is not yogurt, it’s an affront to the universe,”

Never one to back down in the face of James, you asked Liz to keep buying them every time she went out for groceries

Things were quiet until, a few months later, you found James standing over a recent kill eating a gushers yogurt.

“Darling, this isn’t what it looks like,” “I think it’s exactly what it looks like,” “There wasn’t anything else in the fridge,” “James, you’re dead. You don’t have to eat,” “...drat,”

James is adamant that he doesn’t have a favorite flavor because he hates it.... but its actually tropical punch.

Rory Monahan

Rory normally wouldn’t feel any which way about gushers yogurt.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s a goof and has nothing against eating fun little dessert yogurt, there’s just no reason for him or you to buy and eat it.

But if he got a brand deal with Yoplait to advertise it?

Count him in.

You’re eating gushers yogurt with every meal while he vlogs.

Breakfast? Yup. Lunch? Yup. Dinner? Yup.

Oh, you’re getting a snack? Well the only snack Rory bought when he ran out to the store is gushers yogurt.

It’s all over his social media.

He ends up becoming the face of Yoplait and does quite a few primetime commercials, which surprisingly help out with his career. Think what Shaq is the The General Auto Insurance.

“Now with new popping bubbles that gush with roarin’ fruity flavor,” “pffffft!” “What! It’s paying our bills!”

Despite being surrounded by gushers yogurt, Rory wouldn’t actually have a favorite flavor. Once you eat that much yogurt it all tastes exactly the same.

Kai Anderson

Kai... well Kai is a tough one, as usual.

He’s not someone who likes to be perceived as weak, and what’s weaker than a man who’s seen eating flavored yogurt made for kids?

Well, a lot of things, but Kai’s toxic masculinity doesn’t let him see that.

In his eyes, gushers yogurt is simply not befitting of the divine ruler.

If you were close enough to him to offer some in a private moment, he’d probably find some way to use it in a weird, extended metaphor about the world in the hopes of manipulating you.

“In this world there’s people like me, like this yogurt, and people like you, fragile bubbles waiting to burst and spread your issues to the people who can still be saved. People like me cushion-” “Oh shut up and eat your yogurt, Kai,”

Kai doesn’t have a favorite flavor, but kind of like James he’s only being pretentious. Who knew divine rulers are above picking favorite flavors?

Peter Maximoff

Peter would be the most on-board of anybody on the gushers yogurt trend. Like, even more on board than Kyle.

This man uses a loooot of energy while he’s running around, so he needs super sugary foods like twinkies to be around for his inevitable snackfests at random hours of the day.

He also loves junk food. At one point you started wondering whether the X-gene prevented Peter from getting cavities, because he eats more sugar than anybody else you know.

You like to go shopping with Peter because it keeps him from stealing (well, keeps him from stealing as much, but that’s beside the point) and even though he acts like a literal child whenever you make him come with you, he appreciates slowing down and spending time doing something you like.

Usually he gets bored easily in the “healthy food” aisles at the grocery store, meaning anything that isn’t the soda, chips, or snack aisles, but during a random trip to the store he suddenly rushed off out of your sight while you were in the dairy aisle picking up cottage cheese.

When he came back a second later, his arms were full of yogurt.

“Peter, what are you doing?” “Have you seen these? Look at the flavors! They have starburst, and key lime pie, and gushers with popping beads!!!! Popping! Beads!”

You would try to insist that he didn’t need to buy that much yogurt, especially because he hadn’t tried it before and didn’t know if he’d like it, but Peter would give you his world famous puppy dog eyes and you’d give in.

From then on he’d have gushers yogurt (and starburst yogurt, to be honest) in his mini-fridge most of the time.

You didn’t mind. Technically it was healthier than his twinkie addiction, so as long as your speedster was getting calcium in his diet you weren’t about to complain.

He probably has stronger bones than Wolverine with all the yogurt he eats.

His favorite flavor is green apple, but he’d say it’s blue raspberry to go with his aesthetic.

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smallheathgangsters · 4 years ago

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Habits | M.G.

A/N: So, I combined my submission for @maggiescarborough‘s writing challenge with a request that I got. It’s pure angst, but I still hope you enjoy. Also, I’m glad I’m back to uploading regularly!

Pairing: Michael Gray x Reader

Word Count: 1649

Type: angst

Summary: Michael leaves for America and when he gets back, there is nothing left to save.

Tag List: @livingforbarnes @multi-fandom-iimagines @lovemissyhoneybee @peakyblindersengland @lucillethings @callmesunshinexx @simonsbluee @anyasthoughts @sophieshelby

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You had never met Henry. You had never met the sweet, innocent boy who knew nothing about guns and murder and violence, who knew nothing about the Peaky Blinders and their business. The boy that had helped his foster mom pick apples from trees and his foster dad cut the lawn. The one that had worn colourful ties and light brown trousers with suspenders.

But you had had the privilege to meet Michael before everything went south.

You had helped him find his mother’s home after he had escaped from the country. Birmingham was big and easy to get lost in. You had run into him while he had been wandering cluelessly around Small Heath, a piece of paper with an address in hand.

“May I help you?” you had asked him.

There had been uncertainty in his eyes. “I’m looking for my mother.”

“Is that her address?” you had said, pointing at the note between his fingers. Michael had nodded and passed it over to you. Only a quick glace was necessary for you to realise who he had been looking for.

You had huffed surprised. “Polly Gray is your mother?”

“That’s what the man had told me …”

His voice had been a little shaky. You had quickly noticed that he was from the city. “What man?”

“He said his name was Thomas Shelby.”

You had inhaled deeply when the two last words had left his lips. If this young man really was Polly Gray’s son, then he clearly did not know what he was getting himself into. And of course, Tommy had made sure to take this boy away from his foster family just to expand his army. At least that’s what the Shelby family seemed to have become.

Still, you explained the way to Mrs. Gray’s home to the quiet stranger in front of you. Though, you couldn’t hold back a comment. It had hung at the tip of your tongue. “Be careful …”

He had noticed that the unawareness of his name was the reason for your pause.

“Michael.”

“Michael,” you had repeated. “The Shelby’s are living a very dangerous lifestyle. You don’t seem anything like them. Don’t get caught up in their business. It’ll ruin you.”

You had saw him gritting his teeth. Probably not what he wanted to hear from some random girl on the street in an unknow city.

So, he had simply thanked you for your help and took off.

After that, you didn’t see Michael for a while. And you had almost forgotten about the handsome country boy, when one day you spotted him walking towards you on the street. You were on your way to get some groceries at the shop nearby, planning on baking a lovely apple crumble for your family.

At first, you were unsure if you should keep your head down and ignore him. Walk past and act as if you didn’t recognise him. But your eyes wouldn’t obey. They kept moving to the young man, now dressed in a clearly expensive suit. His hair was slicked back, making him look like a million pounds.

You cursed under your breath for being so captivated by him and tore your gaze away with much effort.

Since Michael was not born yesterday, he had spotted you looking at him. He stopped in his tracks just as you were about to pass him and greeted you kindly.

“Oh, hello Michael.”

“How have you been?”

You shrugged. “Normal?”

Michael chuckled at your response.

“What about you? Have you settled in with your new family?”

“Well, technically they’re my real family,” he corrected you promptly. “But yes, they have been very welcoming. I even got a job in Tommy’s company. Since I went to school the longest, I’m pretty good with numbers.”

“Sounds great,” you said. You felt uneasy knowing he was a Shelby now. The ones who people avoided when they went to the pub or walked down the Small Heath alleys. The ones that made their blood run and their heart beat faster. That made deals with men even more fearsome than themselves.

“Are you on your way home?” he asked.

You shook your head. “I’m going to the store to buy a few things for dinner tonight.”

“I could accompany you, if you like,” Michael offered, giving you a gorgeous smile. You frowned at his proposition. “Don’t you have to be somewhere? You look rather put together to pick up some groceries.”

He laughed. “I don’t mind. And I’m sure waiting half an hour won’t hurt John either.”

Michael went with you to get groceries and escorted you home. He “accidentally” bumped into you the next day again and you had lunch together in a café just a few blocks from your home. Michael invited you to the Garrison one Friday evening and introduced you to his family. He made sure you felt comfortable around the men that intimidated you so much. He started telling you more about the work they did and slowly but surely opened up to you about the aspects that obviously clashed with your morals. He understood and accepted the fact that you could and would not identify yourself with the illegal side of their business.

Nevertheless, you fell in love. You fell in love with Michael because he cared about you so much. He was attentive and gentle and interested in hearing about your day. About the things you liked to do and were passionate about. He was there when you were feeling down and he was there to enjoy the days that simply could not get any better.

You didn’t believe in soulmates, but if they were real, Michael was yours and you were Michael’s.

Then he left.

Fucking America.

Fucking Wall Street.

Fucking stock markets and money and drugs.

He left without an explanation that would help you sleep at night. That would help you with getting up in the morning and going to work. That would calm down the burning anger you had towards the Shelby family.

With Michael leaving, you decided to leave the Shelby’s. As kind as they had been to you, they did not bring any positivity to your life. Not anymore.

Michael did not call. Michael did not write. It was as if he had never existed. But your heart was aching so much, you knew he wasn’t gone. Your heart in his hands, fingers squeezing tightly around it. Almost stopping it from beating.

You had noticed him changing. You had felt his touch getting colder and his words getting fewer. He came home later and went to work earlier.

As foolish as you were, you told yourself to ignore the signs. And in the end, whatever you were trying to save, came crumbling down.

You had counted the days after he’d left. But you eventually stopped. How many years had it been? Two? Three? Four even? You had lost track of time. And just as you thought you were over Michael Gray, he was back in Small Heath.

With a woman.

You tried to push through the busy crowd of a sunny Saturday morning after accidentally locking eyes with him. You wanted to get away. Erase the images that were now spinning around in your head.

Just as you thought you had saved yourself from an unpleasant encounter with the man you had once called yours, a strong hand placed itself onto your shoulder.

“Please wait …”

You spun around, holding the handle of your basked tightly, as though it was giving you the support you needed in this situation.

“I have nothing to say to you,” you spat. Against your own expectations, you didn’t look away.

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he said, pulling back his hand awkwardly.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about if you did it willingly and on purpose. And since you’ve never officially broken up with me, I take your new girl as an indication that our relationship is over, eh?”

You were never one to mince your words, but you knew where to draw the line. Usually. Whereas Michael, standing right in front of you, seemed to be triggering the worst in you. You would not try to be nice. You would use words that hurt. That would stab into his chest and rip out the little of a soul he had left.

Michael winced at your remark. You could see that this conversation was painful. Too bad, he didn’t understand the pain he had put you through when he left you. “I never meant to hurt you–“

You rolled your eyes.

“You know that this business changed me, Y/N. You knew I wasn’t the same man you met when I asked you about Pol’s address,” he continued.

“Oh, how romantic, referring to that day?”

“Please don’t be like that,” he begged. You knew he tried to sound pitiful. It wasn’t working. You were over and done with this theatre.

“It wasn’t the business that changed you, Michael. You yourself decided to change. And you decided to be cruel,” you told him, the tone in your voice harsh. Merciless even.

You watched him close his eyes for a moment, most likely annoyed at your unwillingness to talk this through, maybe even come to an understanding.

There was not one fibre in your body that was having any of it.

“I can’t change the man I am deep inside,” he tried explaining his behaviour. You huffed and shook your head in disbelief. “You’re an asshole, Michael Gray. And just for the record: Cruelty isn’t a personality trait. Cruelty is a habit. And you deliberately made it your habit.”

Then, you turned your back on your former boyfriend and began walking away. Taking the largest and proudest steps possible.

“Where are you going?” he shouted after you, baffled by the outcome of this dialogue.

“Home. To bake a fucking apple crumble.”

#Peaky Blinders #peaky blinders fanfiction #michael gray #michael gray x reader #polly gray #thomas shelby #Tommy Shelby #John Shelby #Arthur Shelby #Ada Shelby #finn shelby #isaiah jesus #michael gray one shot

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mottephobia-imagines · 5 years ago

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Ikemen Sengoku Mafia!AU (Oda Forces)

In case y’all didn’t know I also write for Otome (both Voltage and Cybird)

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Oda Nobunaga: the leader

Absolutely a leader of a yakuza- and a good one at that too

(Assuming this takes place in modern day japan) runs one of the biggest Yakuza factions

On the outside though, he’s a very successful heir to a large, multimillion company (think Eisuke Ichinomiya from KBTBB I mean they’re practically the same person cmon)

Due to his seemingly inconspicuous ‘day job’ and charming personality making him very popular to the public eye, no one suspects him of being involved in any organized crime, so he’s able to operate very smoothly under the radar

Of course, he has spies every where- including in the government and police force so his tracks are very covered

Aims to take political power at some point and have his faction be the dominant faction (eliminating all possible rivals)

His biggest one being his enemy Kenshin Uesugi’s faction, who takes any and every opportunity they can to get under his nerves constantly lmao

Nobunaga and Kenshin have never seen each other face to face (if they did it’d be a blood bath), but still have an unspoken respect for each other as much as they hate each other lmao

The rivalry between their two families has lasted generations- now that it’s their turn, Nobunaga is determined to end it with the last laugh

Nobunaga’s still the same arrogant, cocky bastard he is, but 100x worse (as with modern technology)

Grew up with a very traditional family who were samurais in the past, so he’s had a lot of training in swordsmanship and martial arts

Always keeps a pistol in his jacket pocket and wears a bulletproof vest 90% of the time

(He’s not that good with guns tho)

On his desk there’s probably a little plateful of candies, and his fridge is also stocked with sweet things (it’s a wonder how he doesn’t have diabetes yet)

Also has a pocketful of tiny candies to last him throughout the day (much to Hideyoshi’s dismay)

Also, slicked back hair, suited up Nobunaga with a sleeve tattoo (he’d have to try really hard to keep his sleeve tattoo hidden but still just imagine)

Hideyoshi Toyotomi: the bodyguard

Hideyoshi is Nobunaga’s most trusted confidant, who also serves as his bodyguard

Wherever Nobunaga goes, Hideyoshi follows suit

More often than not the voice of reason

Always trusts his gut and is always skeptical of new members (or just people in general why won’t you trust me dammit)

He came from a poor family of farmers in the countryside, and when they couldn’t take care of him anymore they abandoned him

He was a thief for a little while, until Nobunaga’s dad took him in and raised him as his own

Hideyoshi deems this a debt he has to pay, and him helping Nobunaga and keeping him straight will repay the family’s kindness

He’s always the one to direct less major missions and cleans up the messes

Frequently in contact with Mistuhide, and he hates the guy (more like annoyed tbh)

He’s basically Nobunaga’s messenger lmao

And mother older brother figure, he frequently stops Nobunaga from rampaging over something insignificant and keeps him from being unhealthy by taking away his candies sometimes

Is better skilled with a gun, and thus carries not one, but two (those like shoulder straps for guns under his suit type of thing)

He goes undercover from time to time, although it’s not his specialty- he’s kind of a jack of all trades kinda guy

He’s really good at sussing out the spies and traitors, because he listens to his gut and it’s almost always right

Will do anything and everything to help Nobunaga succeed, even if it means killing anyone who stands in the way

Date Masamune: the affiliate

Masamune is actually the leader of another yakuza faction, but since it was so weak at the time he took the opportunity to pair up with Nobunaga

His faction deals more with drugs and weapons, smuggling them over borders and getting them out and in of the country

That being said, most of his deals take place at exclusive bars and clubs- where the richest of the rich gather

He’s a pretty laid-back guy for someone who runs a drug syndicate- he doesn’t really care how things get done as long as they get done somehow

Also pretty goofy- when people first meet him, they’d think that there was no way he was in the yakuza

Even though the sleeve tattoos and the eyepatch probably should’ve been enough for them to know

And the massive amount of jewelry, too- Masamune isn’t shy about his wealth like at all

He’s totally the type to wear those bigass rings, complete with sapphires on them just to show off a little more

He loves to piss off Nobunaga, he loves for it

Ieyasu tells him that it might get him killed (low key a worried bb) but Masamune knows Nobunaga isn’t gonna get rid of him anytime soon; due to the fact that Masamune’s faction gives a shit ton of money

Him and Ieyasu tolerate get along pretty well, although the latter may deny it

Out of all of them, he’s probably the strongest and most skilled combat-wise; he’s adept in martial arts, knives and blades, as well as having an extensive knowledge on firearms and even bombs and how to use them

Honestly, he’s with Nobunaga just for the power boost- ones his faction gets enough power, he’s gonna dip then come back and be like ‘sike u thought’

Masamune has the same aspiration as both Nobunaga and Kenshin, but knows he can’t fight them both at the same time. So why not let the two battle it out then fight the winner?

Akechi Mistuhide: the spy

Aka the rat

Mistuhide is a double agent working for Nobunaga, on his own terms

He’s a spy within the government’s police force, and nobody has caught him yet

Tells Nobunaga about any upcoming busts and when and where they’re gonna go, who they’re going to investigate and go after, basically all information on cases that may affect him

Very good at hiding his tracks- it’s almost impossible to get this guy

Also very good at swaying his coworkers and even bosses- tells them whether or not to pursue a case or person, acknowledge evidence, and even do something for him

He started out as an assassin for hire before becoming an informant for Nobunaga, which is the foundation for the distrust Hideyoshi has on him

Coupled with the fact that he’s easily a manipulative and cunning bastard, you’ve got someone who is a valuable asset but you can’t help but wonder when he’ll turn his back on you

He’s actually the son of a very rich man who had many wives and concubines; growing up, his father’s other wives would try to kill him using any tactic they could, so he developed quickly some skills that children shouldn’t have learned

He knows when food and drinks are poisoned, when someone is trying to ambush you, and when someone is lying- and this was before any formal training for an assassin

Because of his talent with blades and smaller guns, he’s the one Nobunaga sends out most of the time to kill someone and make it seem like an accident

Teams up with Masamune to annoy Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, and Ieyasu (sometimes)

He once went undercover with Hideyoshi- the teasing was unfiltered and hard. Hideyoshi kept yelling at him to please stop, we have a fuckinh mission to do and you making me flustered will not make this any less difficult.

He honestly just lives to see people annoyed/embarrassed lmao

Used to tease Ieyasu a lot before Masamune came and essentially replaced him

Mitsuhide’s reasons for joining Nobunaga’s faction still remains a mystery, and he’d like to keep it that way

Tokugawa Ieyasu: the doctor

Why is there no yellow

The underground doctor who works for Nobunaga, Ieyasu has plenty of knowledge and experience despite his young age

At first, you’d think he isn’t a doctor at all- he‘s rough, not exactly friendly, and easily irritated; which is exactly what makes him so good at his job

As an underground doctor, Ieyasu’s primary job is to salvage whatever unfortunate soul had been injured at the time- sometimes, it’d be much, much more than one person

He can’t afford to let his emotions get to him and slow him down, so he’s learned to repress his emotions and completely focus on his job instead

Also, he can’t be like a traditional doctor because he’s dealing with criminals here- and with his pretty face, not everyone’s gonna take him seriously if he offers the usual caring doctor attitude

Ieyasu grew up in a wealthy family before being kidnapped and sold in the black market as a child, abused within the system and eventually ended up in an old doctor’s hands

The old doctor would basically take him on as an apprentice and told him all his medical knowledge, urging him to follow in his footsteps before he died

When the doctor did die, Ieyasu continued his medical studies and attended several schools and universities before going off the grid completely

Years later he was found in a back alley market (think the black market from beastars) by non other than Nobunaga, who he saved from some thugs (or at least tried to)

Because of his work as a doctor, he often forgets to really take a rest and goes days without sleeping and living off spicy ramen noodles

It’s gotten so bad at one point that Masamune (who buys the noodles for him regularly) actually confiscated all of them and demanded Ieyasu be given a day off (he can’t have tease him if he’s dead!)

Speaking of Masamune, they met after the ‘eyepatch wearing idiot’ came into his clinic after a particularly grueling gun fight with the police

He’s kind of thankful for Masamune- Ieyasu would still have to deal with Mitsuhide and that guy gets on his nerves the quickest, if Masamune didn’t take his spot lmao

He has a little pet porcupine at home, and he sometimes sticks him in the chest pocket of his doctor’s coat whenever he knows he’s gonna spend days at his clinic

Don’t let his pretty looks fool you; mans learned many combat skills from Masamune including how to absolutely murder people with guns

Ishida Mitsunari: the hacker

From how sweet and kind he looks he definitely does not look like part of the Yakuza

Like, he looks like he belongs in a classroom teaching kids, not in a computer room hacking government files

Extremely skilled hacker- he can get any information from anywhere and leave no trace

Is the main source of information for Nobunaga

Mitsunari was the son of a college professor, and spent most of his time reading in the school library when his father took him to his lectures

Pretty soon he found himself loving computers and tinkering with them, eventually leading to him hacking some minor websites

Fat forward a couple of years and his curious nature doesn’t stop, leading to him discovering some secret files/tapes of Nobunaga’s faction

He left a clear enough trace that he was easily tracked down and almost killed; however, Nobunaga saw some potential in him and decided to give him a choice between dying or joining them (not much of a choice there buddy)

He joined in his late teens, so he’s never really experienced what life was like (thanks Nobunaga)

Nonetheless, he’s actually pretty terrifying when he’s angry

With his demeanor, you’d think he wouldn’t have a mean bone in his body- wrong

Being in the yakuza at a young age, he’s seen some shit and learned some shit- and he’s even tried some of them

Many people have spited him, thinking he’s a doormat

Mitsunari does not let that fly

People underestimate how much he can ruin their lives through the computer screen- financial ruin, a hard hit to reputations, etc

He rarely if ever does that though, most of the time he’d just brush it off and continue what he’s doing (unless it escalates then you’re fucked lmao Mitsudarki come thru)

Mitsunari’s really good with kids, so often times the higher ups or other members leave their kids or pets with him because even if he is booked for work, he still takes stellar care of them

Gets teased by Mitsuhide often, but doesn’t get what he’s saying most of the time

Is heavily opposed to killing- he’d much rather talk it through with someone or ruin their life rather than taking it

—

Uggghhhhh this took so long but I love these little shits so it was worth it 😤😤 they’re so pretty wth-

#ikemen series #ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikesen nobunaga #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen mitsunari #ikesen masamune #ikesen ieyasu #ikesen hideyoshi #mafia au #modern au #basically kbtbb but not lmaoooo #cybird #otome #ikesen headcanon #ikesen oda forces #oda forces

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emotionaldepravity · 4 years ago

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Dragon Ball College Au HCs

-Just for a quick explanation for the Au, The Au is split between two worlds: the events of West City University and the events surrounding the Saiyan Conglomerate. Specifically the aus go by those names, but its just easier to call this a college au. There is some crossover in the events due to the characters being related, but they also can run separate from one another.

-Ki doesn’t exist in this world so much of any fighting that is done is purely martial arts or with weapons like guns. Another part is that most of the main cast in DB is around college age.

-Aliens aren’t really aliens they are just considered different looking Earthlings. This means that the saiyans can keep their tails without turning into giant apes.

-Most of the saiyans are still alive since they were never space pirates under Frieza’s rule. Instead they work for a corporation called the Saiyan Conglomerate. Just as the name suggests, the businesses a part of SC are in a bit of variety. They range from meat processing to furniture to computer tech to more nefarious trades such as, allegedly, drug trafficking. It started out from one person buying up a couple of businesses as a way to keep them afloat. Now they go out and scout for businesses, offering them money for selling the business or paying royalties if the person wanted to keep some of it.

-Also I’ll just go over some of the character’s information in the au under the cut (the one included in this post are Goku, Raditz, Vegeta, Bulma, Nappa and Yamcha) .

Goku

- Goku grew up raised by Gine and Bardock along side Raditz. His birth name is Kakarot still, but Goku is the nickname that everyone calls him except for his family and a few other saiyans. When Goku was in middle school Gine and Bardock got divorced, but he still sees both of his parents regularly. For the most part he lives with Gine up until college in which he moves in with Radtiz.

- Bulma for the longest time was his only friend in school just because he really didn’t know anyone else, and she was the one that made friends with him. It wasn’t until him and his brother got forced into karate classes at the Turtle School Dojo near his house that he made some more. It was there that he met Master Roshi, Krillin, and Yamcha. Later on, Tien and Chiaotzu join his group of friends.

-He went to elementary school with only Bulma, and middle school and high school with everyone else. In high school, he dated Chi Chi for a while, but since he really didn’t seem that interested in her, they broke up.

-As a terrible student, the only reason why he is going to college is because of his spot on the football team. If he is being honest, he doesn’t really want to go , but he still really wants to play football. Once he realizes that all his friends are going to be there, he is more willing to go. He actually doesn’t have a major starting off and is forced to take random gen eds while he decides.

Raditz

-Raditz is actually pretty close to all of Goku’s friends and considers them his own despite being four years older than his brother.

-As a much better student than Goku, he graduated high school with honors and from WCU with a Bachelor's in economics.

-He got his own apartment while he lived in college as he worked around campus in various TA positions.

-Instead of finding a job elsewhere, he is more interested in helping Bardock out with various things, and at about the time Goku starts university, Raditz gets a full time job working for his father. Not too soon after he is introduced to the true nature of his father’s business.

Bulma

-Bulma is ever the scientific genius. Her dad is the owner of the most advanced tech company on Earth, and they are extremely rich. Of course, Dr. Briefs isn’t the only reason that they are that successful; Bulma has been making robots, apps, any kind of device that makes life easier since she was very little. The only reason she is even getting her Bacholer’s in mechanical engineering is because she wants her PE licence so that investors will take her more seriously. Otherwise she would have taken over as soon as she could negotiate grant funding.

-While she could have gone to prestigious schools as a child, Dr. Briefs wanted his daughter to live a much more normal life at a public school like he did. After all, Bulma proved time and time again that she was smarter than even the most expensive tutors. Also she would be closer to them as she grew up.

-Yamcha is her on and off boyfriend, but by the time they start college, she is mostly done with trying to be anything more than friends with him.

Yamcha

-Varsity baseball star, Yamcha only is going to WCU thanks to a full ride scholarship. He is looking to be scouted for the pros in college, but he has cooked up a back up plan after that in his future film career.

-He is mostly interested in his film major for the chance to be famous or meet famous people for it, or at the very least he thinks he’ll get to watch movies the entire four years. However, he also knows that maybe if he looks like he is seriously getting his life together, Bulma might reconsider taking him back.

-Despite his desire to get back with Bulma, he is still is keeping his options open to any pretty thing that takes an interest in him.

Vegeta

-Vegeta, son of the Saiyan Conglomerate’s current President, is set up to inherit the empire he grew up surrounded by. Due to this, he is working on a degree in international business since the next big step for SC would be to spread out their owned businesses to other countries.

-Due to the low profile of WCU, it was chosen over more prestigious and expensive schools for the future CEO. He is on a soccer scholarship and is definitely itching to proving that he is the best soccer player there is. He wants to show his father he can be independent from him and be successful without his help.

-He has a good understanding that his life is in danger due to his inheritance, but he doesn’t seem to care. He refuses having more than Nappa follow him around to guard him on campus.

-Thanks to the initial set up of Bardock’s branch, Vegeta has met Goku and Raditz before and is surprised to meet them again at WCU. He isn’t super friendly to them, but Goku is nice enough to introduce him to his friends.

Nappa

-For most of his life he has worked at SC doing a lot of the dirty work for Vegeta the third. He believed they were friends, and Nappa would have done anything to make sure that his friend stayed alive.

- When Vegeta the third took over as CEO, things changed. Nappa was much less involved in the business and eventually left the country for a while to get away from everything.

-It wasn’t until his old friend lost his wife did he come back into the picture. Despite the separation, Vegeta trusted only Nappa for taking care of his son. After that, Nappa was in charge of raising and protecting the boy. When he was little Vegeta was quite fond of Nappa seeing him as an uncle of sorts. They used to play soccer together after school which made Vegeta want to join a team.

-As he got older, the younger Vegeta was less interested in being around him. Vegeta felt smothered by Nappa’s presence as a teen, and eventually treated him nothing more than a servant. He is hurt by this, but he doesn’t really show it.

-As Vegeta starts college, Nappa is given an apartment near the campus and is told to follow Vegeta around except for when he is in class. Vegeta is irritated by this, but as long as he doesn’t have to be around him in class then its alright.

-In order to make the time go by, Nappa takes a few classes himself. He never got the chance to do so when he was younger, and he thinks that maybe he could help Vegeta somehow with the things he learns.

If I ever finish the first chapter I am working on for this Au, I’ll post it.

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sctanic · 4 years ago

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『 dove cameron. twenty-one. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that THEODORA ‘THEO’ KENNEDY from SYCAMORE WAY i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -BEWILDERING & -EXTEMPORANEOUS. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +BEWITCHING & +UNBIASED. i hope i see them around again!

hi everyone! i’m nico and i am so happy to be here. it’s been so long since i’ve played theo and i’ve been searching for a place she’d fit in for ages. i apologize for the length of my intro and fully do not expect anyone to actually read the entire thing but if you do and you like what you read, don’t hesitate to give it a like or send me a message to plot!

trigger warnings; parental death, murder, sexual assault, abuse, alcohol, drugs

S T A T I S T I C S

full name : theodora jane kennedy nickname: theo, t.j, teddy to a select few date of birth : september 1, 1999 age : twenty-one height : 5′1″ sexuality : pansexual relationship status : taken by sonny deluca children : river and regan deluca, twins, nearly two years old. occupation : paranormal investigator for ghost adventures aesthetic : dried blood, cigarette smoke, spilled red wine, ripped jeans over fishnets, abandoned houses, late night walks through cemeteries, combat boots, smudged mascara, bruised skin, leather jackets, old film cameras, black lipstick, nightmares, dried out flowers.

P E R S O N A L I T Y

positive traits : bewitching, unbiased, passionate negative traits : bewildering, extemoraneous, impulsive likes : the occult, rebellion, horror movies, the smell of fall, cinnamon dislikes : pizza, romcoms, gender norms, willy wonka, early mornings myer-briggs : ISFP enneagram : type 8

B I O G R A P H Y

╰ ‘ theodora kennedy was born on september 1, 1999 in a small town on long island, new york to a young couple. daniel and christina kennedy already had a six year old son when they welcomed their daughter into the world and although she had not been planned, they were happy to have her. for the first five years of her life, theo had everything, but that all changed on christmas eve of 2004.

╰ ‘ what they thought was an attempted robbery gone wrong left the kennedy family broken. as theo and her older brother hid in the closet and watched from the crack between the door and the frame, christina was shot 4 times repeatedly and left dead. — it would take one whole year for authorities to find out that her own husband was responsible for it.

╰ ‘ no, daniel kennedy didn’t pull the trigger. and no, he didn’t break into his own house but his past life of crime brought upon the tragedy. before meeting and setting down with christina, daniel had been involved in a sketchy lifestyle — drugs, alcohol, parties and crime. he bought, he dealt, he stole and he owed a lot of money. when he didn’t meet his deadline he was warned what would happen, and they had been true to their word. if he couldn’t offer them the money they would take something else, something money couldn’t buy. his wife, and the mother to his two children.

╰ ‘ that christmas was a dark one. there were no celebrations and the kids didn’t open their presents. the new year just brought dread and slowly the kennedy’s began to spiral. daniel began to fall back into his olf lifestyle of partying and crime as a coping mechanism. he became involved with the wrong people once more, people he called ‘old friends’ and more times than not his son jack, who was only eleven at the time, was left to care for his sister, theo.

╰ ‘ the death of a mother would be hard for anyone, but witnessing it had really ruined theodora. she stopped socializing, stopped speaking. her father still swears that she didn’t speak a single word for 3 years, and that may have been true. night terrors and flash backs took over her once pleasant dreams.

╰ ‘ after falling back into his prior way of life, mr. kennedy found himself unemployed. it was really no surprise, he would miss shifts at the auto body shop and when he did show up he was under the influence of something and incapable of doing much of anything and with no steady income, they lost their house. however, with every storm comes a rainbow and although they lost nearly everything they did get to move in with daniel’s parents, theo’s grandparents who she absolutely adored.

╰ ‘ grandma and grandpa kennedy weren’t your everyday grandparents. they didn’t knit blankets and play bingo, no, they owned the town funeral home, situated on a graveyard and lived atop of it. grandpa was a funeral director and grandma a mortician. while daniel had grown up in the funeral home, he wasn’t much phased and his new habits left him home rarely. jack hated it. he avoided the parlor at all costs and refused to tell his friends where it was he was living but theo had never felt more comfortable, surrounded by death.

╰ ‘ at only six, she began tagging along with her grandparents while they worked. she learned how to embalm bodies and prepare them for their final rest. of course her interest in the dead and the fact that she lived in a funeral home was a subject of ridicule in school. even in kindergarten she was picked on for it. she instantaneously became the ‘weird girl’. as she got older the bullying got worse, but it made her tough. she didn’t need friends, she had her interests to keep her busy and she liked to believe the dead were her friends. she’d often spend time in the morgue or out in the cemetery, making up lives in her head for the deceased and searching for answers.

╰ ‘ her interest in the occult began very early. she loved anything mysterious and dark. her first report in elementary school was on ed and lorraine warren, her biggest inspirations even back then and ever since she has longed to be the next lorraine. her intuition to the dead is strong and her sensitivity is high. she was told early on by a psychic friend of her grandparents that she had a gift and although they told her that she would one day be able to use it to help the living, she knew right away she wanted to use it to help the dead — the souls not at rest.

╰ ‘ by sixteen theo’s relationship with her father was nonexistent. he was absent most of her life, in and out of jail and always under the influence of drugs. and when he was around, he was abusive. she spent her whole life fearing him and while her brother jack strived to be everything their father was not, to make him proud, theo found herself slowly becoming everything her father was. she was skipping school to smoke in the cemetery and drinking alcohol from her fathers stash alone in her room. she tried to drown out her demons by self medicating. she found herself at house parties and in strangers beds regularly. she was her own worst nightmare. she was becoming the person her peers had made her out to be, a monster. she was mean and bitter and mad at the world, and so very young.

╰ ‘ at seventeen her world turned upside down one more time. a small town murder made the news and left the locals panicked. was there a serial killer on the loose? were they in danger? would the killer ever get caught? a witness met with the police and a sketch was made of the suspect and shared with the world via the local news — and theo knew instantly who it was. she had spent the last week hearing about the brutal murder of a young seventeen year old girl. she had been drugged, sexually assaulted and eventually choked to death. it was ugly and it was inhuman — and it was her father. she was sure of it. with shaky hands and the approval of her grandparents, she called the police and reported her father. after 3 months and a very long trial, he was sentenced to life in prison and for the first time in years, she could finally breathe.

╰ ‘ at eighteen, theodora applied for an internship with the ghost adventures team in vegas and by some miracle she was accepted. it only took six months for them to welcome her to the team full time, making her the youngest member of the crew. she found a family in her ghost adventures crew, looking up to zak bagans like the father figure she never had. her new job and new found family really helped pull her away from the dark path she was going down.

╰ ‘ she soon after moved to vegas, the glitz and glam and partying was dangerous and tempting but her work crew did their best to steer her in the right direction, it was there — in vegas that theo met sonny deluca.

╰ ‘ sonny showed up at theo’s door one morning with his mission partner, asking to talk to her about the book of mormon. one day later he showed back up alone. four days later he was leaving his mission and moving in. it happened quick and they fell fast. theo didn’t think she was capable of loving anyone, especially not in the way that she loves sonny. it only took four days for him to knock down her walls and expose her soft interior.

╰ ‘ it did not take very long into their relationship to learn that they were expecting, not just one baby but twins. both scared and excited, they decided to keep the babies and make the impulsive decision to move. mapleview was their destination, the perfect place to raise a family. they got a house and prepared for the birth of their children.

╰ ‘ still together, sonny and theo now have a set of twins, almost two year old son, river and daughter regan. they are the light of theo’s life and everyday she strives to be better for their sake. without her family, she would be in a very bad place. she’s positive of it.

#mapleviewintro #tw: death #tw: murder #tw: alchohol mention #tw: abuse

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spitandfroth · 4 years ago

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Another Change

Morning,

Struggling to stay asleep while my partner is here. His snoring wakes me up all the time :( He can’t help it so i cant blame him and i feel guilty for constantly shoving him as he needs the rest more than me.

Now what’s been going on?

PIP & Money Worries

My pip reconsideration is ready to send in. It is comprehensive put it that way. I just hope i get my pip back as i am struggling on the money i am on. I can’t afford shopping even! I am relying on my family to buy me shopping and i keep having things break on me. I’ve had my mouse and keyboard break in the last 2 weeks plus i have run out of things like my clean & clear cleanser but i can’t justify the £3 for the bottle. It is utter shit not being able to even afford to replace my veg peeler! it’s £6 to replace it ffs but i am already overdrawn and my next payment is immediately used to pay bills with nothing left over.

If for some reason you want to help me pay bills and buy some basics to make my life better then please paypal me at [email protected] i am grateful for anything you can afford. I feel so sad that i am having to beg but i literally don’t know where to turn to apart from online. Thank you in advance and i am honestly extremely grateful.

Doctors Verdict

I had a good conversation with my doctor this week. I am now taking 500mg of Naproxen twice a day and my escitalopram has been increased to 20mg. I have also now been referred to rheumatology.

We discussed some future changes too. She wants me to come off either tramadol or co codamol as the combination isn't the best and she thinks there is other things we can try. She wants me to come off propranolol, i am happy to try and come off that tbh and she wants to change the spironolactone for something else as its not used for facial hair any more and i need something better suited.

It seems she is on the ball and wanting to fix me as best she can. I will embrace changes but i will always be sceptical around my mental health meds though. She was questioning my risperidone but i know for a fact im crazy when i don't take that!

It’s hopefully the start of getting medically sorted. I just need to keep on top of it and make sure i ring regularly to keep her in the loop to how i am doing. I will say since taking the 20mg of escitalopram i have been struggling to sleep. Maybe related.

I Can’t Get High :(

In the last month i have taken mushrooms and acid with little to no effect. we took 7g of cubensis and literally nothing happened. i stop my meds 2 days before so that shouldn't really affect it, it never did in the past. Everything prepped correctly and we’ve tried a could of methods including lemon tek. Acid i took a half and i got a bit of closed eye visual but were gone within an hour. I then took a full tab and got some nice body rushes and closed eye visuals but after 2 hours i was just tired and went to bed.

I just don’t seem to suit psychedelics.

Next to try is MDMA. This is something i've taken before in my youth and i have high hopes as i loved the feeling of coming up. I am hoping my sister buys a gram we can share. I can’t afford coke and that's literally what's left that's available round here. Drug dealers are utter pants round this way.

Might be getting some DMT though off a girl i traded some CBD with so fingers crossed for that but im not sure she realises how expensive DMT is. So might end up with a couple of tabs again. I’ll bosh those together this time!

Periods

So last month i started my period again. First time in 6 years! It lasted 3 weeks :( I really don’t want my period again though. I don’t want kids, i don’t want my ovaries and womb at all, i want a hysterectomy. However, this is something i have yet to bring up with the doctor. I know for a fact she’ll want me to have a smear and i need my partner to shave my fanny for that, can’t do it on my own...

Anyway, this last week i have become tired all the time, hungry constantly, sad and not just a little bit, i feel like crying over everything and anything. I ache, i am moody and spotty :( I don’t want to spend 2 weeks feeling fat and tired, then 2 weeks bleeding. Fuck that! Guess i’ll have to go on the implant or injection. My worst nightmare is getting pregnant. I know what the decision will be, there is no deciding needing to be done. I WILL be getting a abortion. My body cannot take a pregnancy and mentally i could not cope with a child. I am far too selfish and my partner is too old to start a new family. It just isn’t what i want in life.

So need to have another discussion with the doctor!

Mood

Generally i am coasting but i get pangs of paranoia that i am not good enough for my partner and that hes bored of me. Like why would anyone want me, i am broken. What do i offer to the man i love with all my heart? All i have is love on the table. I barely do anything else. He worships me and does everything he can for me and i feel like i am giving nothing back. It’s hard.

I get feelings of deep sadness and i will just cry for no real reason. A picture of a cat an set me off ffs. From that i they think about sad things like my nan not being here or the fact Tyson will one day leave me for rainbow bridge. I just worry about things that are not happening in a long time or things that have happened and i cannot change.

I worry incessantly about my partner or me dying. I got a telling off for ringing my partner after 2 hours of him not replying to texts as i was panicking he had a accident or something terrible had happened. He was just having a nap and i knew this but anxiety took over. It’s so hard to explain to someone that anxiety just takes over and i can’t help doing things as if i don’t i become distraught with worry.

So yeah mood is up and down, more down than up though. I am hoping the increase in escitalopram will even me out and mean i perk up a bit.

So there it is, a write up of life as it stands really. Not covered everything of course as well i cant do that cause some of it is secret in my head.

Just trying to stay positive as best i can.

Love you xxx

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toxoiddiamond · 4 years ago

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T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Joel Porter Nycroft Nicknames: No nicknames, but he goes by the name Joel Winters professionally. Age: 40 Birthday: May 25th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Liverpool, England Current Location: He is constantly touring, but he has two homes– one just outside of London, and one in LA. His London-ish (as he calls it) home is where he spends his time off, and his LA home (which is a condo) is where he lives while the band works on recording new albums, since that is where their current label is based. Speaks: English and French (not fluently, but decently well). Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous Education: High school dropout, never bothered to get his GED or anything since he never really needed to. No college education, obviously. He is very smart though, and reasonably well-educated. Occupation: Lead singer and guitarist of internationally famous band No Rest for the Londoners, often shortened to simply The Londoners. Vehicle: It’s been a very long time since he’s had to drive himself anywhere– and that’s probably for the best, given the fact that he is under the influence more often than not. He has drivers that take him anywhere he needs to go, or, if the place is within walking distance, he’ll just walk over. Worldly Possessions: Though he’s quite wealthy, he doesn’t live too ostentatiously. He does tend to buy expensive/high quality things that will last him a long time, especially if it’s an instrument or anything to do with music, but he doesn’t spend excessively. He has some artwork on his walls that he splurged on, a shelf for his various awards (which he keeps hidden in a closet in his home studio because he feels weird having them out on display for all to see), nice (but not ridiculously expensive) clothes and bedding and such, furniture he had custom made by a local carpenter, etc. Then he has all his instruments and music equipment, which make up the majority of his possessions. Pet(s): He can barely take care of himself, so he has never even considered owning a pet, but he does like animals a lot. In the future, once he has his shit together, he would be totally open to having pets.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6’0” Hair: Dark with a few flecks of grey. Long-ish and usually a bit of a mess unless he’s going somewhere fancy, in which case he will slick it back. Facial Hair: He usually keeps his beard quite full. He trims it now and then, but it’s rare for him to actually shave it all off. Eye Colour: Brown Skin Tone: He doesn’t spend a lot of time outdoors, so he’s pasty. Clothing: For the most part, he looks pulled together– jeans and t-shirts, the occasional cardigan, peacoats in colder weather, classic black suits when he attends special events. He doesn’t exactly dress like a “rock star” and has never cared to try and be edgy or fit a certain persona. Distinguishing Marks: Faded track marks on both his arms from his past heroin abuse– he makes no effort to hide or cover them, since he figures everyone knows about his drug problem anyway. Face Claim: Jim Sturgess

H E A L T H Physical Health: It could be better. What with the fact that he’s constantly high or drunk (or both), his health is not great. He is constantly exhausted, often feels sick, has a weak immune system, and is pretty much just a mess. There’s been more than one occasion throughout his career when he’s passed out from sheer exhaustion, or had to reschedule shows due to illness (though he considers that a last resort). Physical Abilities/Limitations: Joel is an extremely talented musician. On top of the fact that he has a lovely singing voice, he can play guitar, piano, drums, and bass. He can’t read music at all, but has a knack for playing by ear, which drives the rest of his band absolutely nuts because anytime they try to ask Joel what key he’s singing/playing in, he just shrugs. Addictions: It would be faster to list the things he’s not addicted to. But mainly, he’s addicted to alcohol and cocaine. He used to have a serious heroin addiction, but hasn’t touched heroin since his late twenties. He also abuses Xanax, though he doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing– he figures that since his doctor prescribed it, it’s fine to use it on a regular basis, but it’s really doing more harm than good. Allergies: None Mental Health: Terrible. Like, catastrophically bad. Joel is pretty much always on the verge of a mental breakdown– he has had several over the past few years, but has not gotten the help he so desperately needs in order to get his mental health back in order. He has gone to rehab many times, but wasn’t really given much help in the mental health department; he was just told he needed to relax and that once he was off the drugs he would feel much better. Turned out that wasn’t true, so he has always gone back to the drugs after leaving rehab. He is constantly considering suicide, and has attempted it twice; once when he was fourteen, and once when he was thirty-two. The second attempt was passed off as an accidental drug overdose to the media, though it was not accidental at all.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Joel was born and raised in Liverpool. His father left when he was just a baby, so Joel never knew him. Unfortunately, his mother was neglectful and uncaring– she was addicted to drugs and ran with a bad crowd, and her only real concern was where her next fix would come from. Joel was often left with neighbors or other family members for long periods of time before his mother would remember to come and get him. More than once, authorities were alerted to the fact that Joel’s mother was not taking care of him, but nothing ever really came of it. From an early age, Joel was interested in music, and began teaching himself to play guitar when he was ten years old. He always had a knack for playing by ear, so he never bothered to learn to read music. He spent a lot of time in a local music shop playing around with various instruments, and the staff let him hang around since he didn’t bother anyone and they kind of felt sorry for him. It was there that Joel taught himself to play both piano and bass. At the age of 14, Joel was pressured by some of his mom’s friends into getting high with them. Although Joel didn’t want to, he was made to feel that saying no wasn’t an option, so he did heroin with them. He doesn’t remember much of what happened that night– just that he went with them somewhere, Joel was absolutely scared out of his mind, and then he woke up the next morning on a park bench. From then on, Joel began to get high regularly, and did favors for his mom’s “friends,” mostly running drugs and bringing back money. It was around this time that he attempted suicide by purposely overdosing, but he woke up the next morning– still in his bedroom, intensely sick and much worse for wear, but alive. Joel dropped out of high school at 16– he would have failed his classes anyway since he’d been skipping school so much and his grades had plummeted. At 17, his friend Michael invited him to London– Michael was moving there and saw an opportunity to get Joel away from all the bad influences in his life. They moved in with Michael’s aunt for a while, and Joel took a job in a record shop to save up money. Eventually they struck out on their own and decided to put a band together, something they had talked about for years. After finding the perfect band members (something they still insist was fate), they began writing songs and recorded an EP in Joel and Michael’s basement. After playing a few local shows, word of mouth begin to spread, and before they knew it, they were approached by a manager offering them a contract with a major label. They took the deal, and the rest is history. Job History: His first “job” was as an errand boy for a shady group of drug dealers. He then worked in a record store for almost three years, and during that time, helped form the band and started playing the occasional show. Obviously that worked out because he is a very famous, successful musician now. Fondest Memories: His first rock concert when he was ten years old. Running away from Liverpool– he’ll never forget the feeling of freedom as they drove past the city limits. Performing in small venues and getting such an unexpectedly good response. And, of course, the first time they ever performed in a sold-out arena; the first time he heard the audience singing his own lyrics back at him, Joel almost cried. Worst Experiences: The majority of his childhood. And… a lot of his adulthood, actually.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Though Joel can be very charming, he’s not exactly smooth. He’s kind of a dork, and most of his charm comes from the fact that people find it endearing how weird and awkward he can be. Depending on whatever drugs are in his system, he can either talk a mile a minute, or he might speak slowly, possibly slurring his words (though the slurring isn’t always noticeable with his accent). Accent: Very, very English with a distinctive Scouse accent. When he speaks, there is absolutely no doubt about where he’s from. Favorite Phrases or Words: He uses a lot of typical Scouse slang, such as “made up” for “happy,” or “cob on” for “bad mood.” His bandmates tease him about his weird accent/dialect all the time, though it’s all in good fun, of course. Usual Curse Words: Fuck, and any of its derivatives.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-T Sense of Humor: Joel is charismatic and funny– he loves to make people laugh and can be quite a goofball when the mood strikes him. He often uses humor as a way to deflect or distract from his issues, so a lot of people who don’t know him well are surprised to find out that he’s as depressed as he is. When it comes to entertaining people, he will do just about anything to get a laugh, as long as it’s not offensive in some way– self-deprecating humor is his go-to, though. Habits: He tends to fidget a lot– wringing his hands, scratching at his arms, bouncing his leg when he’s sitting, especially during interviews or before a performance. Fears/Phobias: His biggest fear is ending up alone. He doesn’t even like being alone in his house, so the idea of being abandoned or rejected by the people he cares about is what really scares him. Loneliness is his worst enemy, and honestly, anytime when Joel is left alone with his own thoughts is just not going to end well. Strengths: Joel is a creative, kind, and thoughtful person who genuinely likes being around others and getting to know them. He loves doing nice things for people, making people laugh, and is charismatic as hell. People seem to naturally flock to him and enjoy his company– he’s kind of the life of the party. Joel always does his best to be kind to his fans as well, especially kids, and would never deny anyone a picture or autograph, even if he secretly would rather be doing anything else. Flaws: As lovely as Joel can be, when he’s deep under the influence of drugs, it’s like he’s a completely different person. Selfish, combative, and a chronic liar. When he starts spiralling into depression, it’s impossible for him to pull himself out of that tailspin, and that is how he’s ended up in this vicious cycle of getting depressed, doing drugs, getting more depressed, drinking the pain away, getting even more depressed, etc, etc. Hopes/Desires: He really, really wants to get clean and sober, but doesn’t know if it’s really possible for him. He hates that he’s so reliant on drugs and alcohol to even get through the day, but he’s felt so awful and depressed (more than usual) every time he’s gotten clean that he doesn’t see how he can live like that. Self-Esteem: It could not possibly be any lower. Joel considers himself to be a burden on everyone he knows and pretty much thinks he’s a waste of space. It would only take the tiniest nudge for him to attempt suicide (again). Religion: He doesn’t believe in any kind of god or higher power. In fact, he really hopes there isn’t any such thing, because he’s pretty sure that if there is a god or any kind of afterlife, he won’t end up going anywhere pleasant when he dies.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up in a ball on his side. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: He doesn’t have a preference– it really just depends on whether he has something to do or not. Top or Bottom?: He can go either way. Partying or Relaxing?: Usually partying, unless he has someone to relax with.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: He is close to all of his bandmates: Michael (Joe Anderson), Dawn (Sofia Boutella), Holly (Devon Aoki), and their newest/youngest bandmate who replaced their former rhythm guitarist, Ryan (Justin Nozuka). Out of all of them, he is definitely closest with Michael since they grew up together. Relationship History: Not a lot of long-term relationships. He briefly dated Dawn back when they first met, before the band blew up, but they quickly decided they weren’t compatible. He has dated around a bit, some men and some women, mostly people who are also in the public eye (actors, models, musicians, etc), but none of those relationships lasted longer than a few months. Sexual Partners: A lot. He was definitely promiscuous when he was younger, lots of flings and one-night stands. As he got older, he lost interest in having a new partner every night and started getting into more actual relationships, though none of them lasted longer than a year. Thoughts About Sex: He enjoys it. He especially enjoys it when his partner doesn’t leave immediately afterward. Joel really likes to cuddle after sex, so it’s always disappointing to him when it turns out his partner isn’t interested in cuddling.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Donna Nycroft Age(s): She died at the age of 57 Social Standing: Not good. She was widely known to be an addict, and ran with a shady crowd to help fuel her addiction. Occupation(s): Drug dealer, occasionally traded sex for drugs or money, occasionally took part-time jobs if she was really desperate, though she could never hold down a legitimate job for very long. Religion: Nope. Quality of Relationship With His Children: Horrible. She never cared much for Joel, and only kept him because she got child support money from his father every month. She paid as little attention to him as possible and didn’t care at all what he did or where he went. When he first got famous, she tried to sell her “story” to a bunch of tabloids and started trashing him in the media, but the drama died down quickly because Joel refused to address anything she said and pretended he didn’t know who she was. Joel was honestly not sad at all when he got the news about her death. He pretty much said “oh… okay” and moved on immediately. Living/Deceased: Dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Joel has two homes– one moderately large home on the outskirts of London, and a condo in LA. His London home is a bit secluded and private, and is where he likes to go during his off times, as he can escape the press for the most part. His band mates will often come and stay with him as well, partly because they don’t want him to be alone, and partly because they all have a great time together, especially when there’s not the pressure of recording or a tour. His LA home is where he lives while they work on recording, since their label is based in LA. The house in London is fairly large, but not a mansion by any means– it has four bedrooms, one of which Joel has converted into a music studio where he can practice, write songs, mess around with instruments, etc. Two bedrooms are currently guest rooms, and then there is the master bedroom, of course. The place is decorated with custom furniture Joel had designed and made by a local carpenter, and it is all very nice-looking and comfortable. His condo is decorated in a very minimalist, functional way, which suits Joel just fine. Lots of open space and windows, furniture with clean, modern lines, a few splashes of color here and there, and not much else.

#character: joel nycroft #ship: joley #character sheet

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crescentmoonrider · 6 years ago

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so uh, i was telling @ishibooty about my daydreams and the fact that somehow in two of these scenarios, marcus ends up joining libra, and all of a sudden it was 5am and i had 3k words of summary of marcus’ arc for one of them

there are two parts to it. this was supposed to be a side-plot. why am i like this

anyway enjoy my ramblings i guess

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Mushroom arc

Marcus and Leo meet at the hospital (Daniel came to visit/interrogate/make fun of Steven and kicked Leo out of the room) and leave a good impression on each other. (“So uh, are you also a cop ?” “Why does everyone assume that ? Is it my name ??”)

Later, Libra investigates on a drug ring. Because the drug seems to incorporate magic in its fabrication, making it as potent on humans as well as all sorts of beyondians, Leo is sent alongside Zapp to get a sample and get a closer look and maybe identify the spellcaster or something. Marcus is in the club and makes himself known, and it turns out he is part of the gang. Zapp and Leo get invited to a private room and meet some of the higher-ups (Marcus included), buy their sample, and are then asked to breathe into a container, of which they are assured it is perfectly safe, just a security measure. Since murdering clients seems like a pretty bad business plan for a drug ring, the duo does what they’re asked. They pass out and wake up in the club, with no memory of the past 30 minutes.

Later, Leo is greeted by Marcus at Diane’s Diner and they have a chat, during which Leo feels like he met Marcus recently but can’t seem to place it ? Marcus makes fun of him, asks if Leo has been hanging with Mushroom beyondians and at Leo’s confusion, mentions the amnesic effects of their spores.

Leo comes back to Libra all “MOM HOLY FUCK”, and the team decide to investigate that memory-erasing spore thing. Also one of Steven’s “contacts” discouraged him from looking deeper into the drug ring geez I wonder why that might be.

In parallel to that whole investigating, Leo goes to eat out with Nej, accidentally bumps into Marcus, and they somehow become a trio of burger pals ? (“wait what do you mean you sold Nej burgers for profit” “it’s money my dude”) Hanging out together during lunch break regularly, all that jam. At some point, following Leo and Marcus complaining about their respective workplaces and co-workers (preluded by Marcus being all like “work ? like, part-time ? aren’t you in high school ?” “… I’m 21…” (quietly) “what the fuck”), Nej mentions having an actual job but can’t seem to remember it. Cue laugh track I guess.

Plot twist it’s not funny it’s actually tragic because the place Nej works at is the spore extraction factory that serves as the center of that Mushroom traffic. Chain, Zapp, and Leo storm the place, Leo gets beaten up, Nej is traumatized, the Mushroom beyondians are evacuated, the building is burned down and so are the spores. Meanwhile, Marcus is allowed for the first time into the laboratory, meets the spellcaster, looks around the place and asks non-suspicious questions, he’s just curious and enthusiastic and kind of dumb in his cleverness but that’s just how Marcus is haha look at him, such a good and loyal guy (we hope).

Someone caught Leo and Zapp on tape while they destroyed the factory and since Marcus is friends with Leo, it’s a bit uhhhhhhh suspicious ? Marcus is all “do I look like I have control over whatever every single one of my friends does ?”, the Chief goes “okay well, would you fucking mind getting that kid over here so we can know where he learned about the spore factory ?”, and so Marcus goes to do just that.

Except he doesn’t. What he does is go see Leo at the hospital, offers to go on a walk in the hospital park, covertly gives Leo a vial of his own blood, and tells him to act like they’re fighting and then run away and bring the vial to Daniel. He then makes as if to grab Leo to take him with him.

Leo knees him in the dick and books it. The gang guy dispatched to make sure Marcus actually did his job watches and comes to the conclusion that Marcus is on their side because, like, yeah.

When he gets the news and the blood, Daniel calls the narc brigade to start the tracking, grabs Leo, gets in the car, and starts driving. The “tracking” is actually blood magic, the vial of blood Marcus gave Leo reacting to sigils he left at the lab and even on the spellcaster and forming spikes in the direction of it all. Turns out Marcus was an undercover narc looking to get his hands on the spellcaster (drug labs are rather easy to make, having a magic user able to apply their knowledge to that kind of craft is a lot less common).

Of course when magic is activated, it risks being picked up on by other magic users, so any intervention needs to be swift, and also Marcus seems to have been under some suspicion (why else would he ask Leo to serve as a middle-man) so things need to move real fast. (“wait so you’re going on a drug busting operation with a civilian in your car ? I know I said I wanted to know what the hell is going on but that’s kind of, like, uhhh” “you’re holding the vial and giving me the directions, I can’t do that while driving”)

Anyway, most of the gang is arrested, Marcus ends up in the hospital because he saw some kids crossing the road without watching and jumped in to save them, ironically saving him from being exposed as a cop to the underworld, and Leo later apologizes for kneeing him in the dick. End of arc

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Boss arc

Marcus takes advantage of his old gang being disbanded, and of him still looking like a regular crime guy, to join another, bigger group. The Boss welcomes him with open arms because 1) Marcus sells himself really well (“yo my brother’s a lieutenant of police, I got some intel”) and 2) they actually knew each other before the Collapse, and while Marcus never worked for him, the Boss has a lot of respect for him.

The burger trio still hangs out together, and sometimes Marcus also hangs out with Leo alone. It’s a nice break from work for Marcus honestly, Leo is a chill guy, and it’s great to not have to pretend to be someone else, with someone who isn’t Daniel, for once. And for Leo it’s also a nice break from the usual Libra madness. They share wacky stories, some gossip, one time Marcus arrives like “LEO HOLY FUCK” because he spotted Steven at Daniel’s flat and they both lose their shit. They also get a little more real sometimes I mean, both of them have some heavy baggage, and Marcus doesn’t have a lot of emotional support outside of his brother (who is married to his work and not great at emotions himself). In short, they’re friends.

Anyway, Leo may or may not be developing a crush – whatever the truth is, Zapp has decided to go on Big Brother mode and drag Zed along to stalk Marcus and make sure he’s an okay guy. (“are you sure this is necessary ?” “this is HL, and this is Leo, he’s like, a trouble magnet ! and if things turn out badly, guess who will have to deal with the fallout ?” “… you actually care, don’t you” “shut up !”) Of course, Marcus publicly performs as a Crime Guy, so that’s a little… well…

Zapp and Zed follow Marcus to a shady pub where Marcus has a meeting with the Boss (“wait isn’t this guy like, a crime lord” “god fucking dammit”), get spotted, but since Marcus isn’t about to out them as Libra if he can avoid it, he just ironically buys them a drink. And that’s how a hot mess and a merman end up sharing a table with a Crime Guy and a Crime Lord. Zapp, always the diplomat, asks Marcus to break up with Leo. Marcus is obviously very confused because, like, they’re not ??? A thing ??? So Zapp instead tells him to not start a thing, while Zed sits there nervously and very obviously tries to not look at the Boss.

Marcus laughs it off, but he ends up a little shaken by the encounter honestly, not because Zapp said anything particularly clever, but because it echoes doubts he’s been holding about himself for a while now. He’s been doing his job for quite a long time, has done quite a lot of shitty things to keep his cover up, and he – he isn’t quite sure he’s really helping. Sure, he’s lead to the dismantling of some drug rings, but was it worth it ? If he looks at what he did for the past years, how exactly is he different from the people he targets ?

Also there’s like, Collapse trauma, which in his case is also closely related to that whole issue. For three days, Marcus walked around with a suitcase of “merchandise” from whatever his gang was at the time, doing his best to survive and get that thing where he was supposed to get it and not lose it and not act like a servant of the people who would actually help, or try to help at least. Marcus made it out of the Collapse with his cover intact, his gang mostly dead, and a suitcase full of shit he didn’t know what to do with because the people he was supposed to bring it to died and he did it all for nothing. He let people die for nothing.

And he does feel a kinship with some of his “co-workers”. He’s friend with some of them. He slept with one of them, at a time when he had just lost whatever purpose he’d had for the three days the Collapse lasted, at a time when he couldn’t get in touch with his family and make sure they were alive and he was just so desperate for someone he knew, for some human warmth, for whatever comfort he could get. And the Boss (at the time not his boss, but someone he knew and who made business with whoever he used to work for) was kind and praised his determination and good work and just held him with no judgement.

Marcus enjoys the Boss’s company. What happened after the Collapse was a one-off thing, but they’ve been in touch ever since, drinking out sometimes, sharing some quiet comfort together. The Boss introduced Marcus to a new group in exchange for his merchandise. The Boss keeps on vouching for him, trusts him, and Marcus almost feels a little guilty.

He feels guilty a lot, he finds, whether that be when he enjoys drinking with his co-workers or when he works at home on a spell that would identify the caster in charge of their drug.

One time, Steven comes to the Boss with a deal, information for whatever price the Boss gives and Marcus sits there, at the Boss’ right, watches Steven and the apparent friendship between him and the Boss and thinks “ah”. Same fucked up hat, same dilemma, same constant walking a line you can barely see.

At Daniel’s place (Steven has been there a lot more often lately, and Marcus a lot less, but they still end up meeting at times), neither of them mention that moment of recognition. But Marcus mentions being a little tired, and Steven half-jokingly offers him a place in Libra, should he ever want a change of pace.

And Marcus thinks maybe, just maybe, this would be better. Maybe he could help, really help, the way he wants to. He just needs to finish this job. Just this one job.

It’s not that he means to isolate himself, he just really needs to figure this spell out, and anyway Zapp was exposed as Libra and that brought suspicion on Marcus because of the whole “don’t date my friend/colleague” incident and while the Boss trusts him, there’s this one guy who has some amazing instincts (and maybe holds a grudge for that time Marcus beat him up for trying to sell stuff to kids), and that means hanging out with Leo is probably a terrible idea. And he has work. And he is so, so tired. He has nightmares, too, a little more than usual. Maybe more than that.

It’s a good thing that there are spells offering protection against nightmares, really, a good thing there are spells that provide energy too. Marcus has a rule against ever consuming something he sells, but he’s been so tired lately that he gets close. But there are spells for sleep that work better than alcohol, and spells for energy that work better than cocaine, with none of the less appreciable side-effects, and it’s a shame the only magic he knows is blood magic because drawing blood to activate them is a pain, literally. But it’s a small trade-off for the ability to keep it together and finish his work.

Leo actually seeks him out once, and while the encounter is short because Marcus can’t afford to hang out with “most definitely Libra” and tells Leo that (and also mentions Zapp and Zed’s visit because he is petty), it’s also nice to have Leo be all “if it’s because you’re afraid of getting me into trouble, friendly reminder that this is HL and that I am Libra” at first and just. Miss him, apparently ? Marcus will have to treat him to lunch once he is done.

After that, after his eyes pick up on the weird magic going on over Marcus’ shoulder, Leo looks up spells by shape, and if he was worried about Marcus avoiding him before, he is now worried for an entire different set of reasons. Square-shaped spells are reinforced exponentially, and there’s no way anything stronger than a level-1 energy spell (the equivalent of an espresso) can be healthy. Also he is going to kill Zapp.

And finally, finally, Marcus gets his breakthrough. He finalizes his identification spell, drops a little blood on the powder in the middle of the circle, and gets a signature. He can track this caster. He grabs paper, a pencil, writes down the signature sigil, calls Daniel to tell him that he got it, and – and there was a defensive spell inside the drug because of course there was and Daniel needs to come here right now.

At the time, Daniel is wrapping up a case with Klaus and Gilbert nearby, and there is no question what the fastest vehicle here is. The others can manage without him. Daniel reaches Marcus’ flat in record time, Klaus on his heels, and they find Marcus unconscious on the floor, left arm injured, in a state that seems much worse than it should be.

Daniel grabs the paper Marcus is holding, Klaus compresses the injury and carries Marcus to the car, and Gilbert drives as fast as possible in these conditions. Calls are made – to the narc brigade, sending them the signature so they can do whatever it is they need to do with it and so they can prepare to start the tracking of what Marcus left for them to find, and to Steven, who is currently free and can absolutely help in the capture of the higher-ups of the gang (Leo definitely helps spot anyone who escapes).

Luciana welcomes them with the same determination she has at all times, and the slight annoyance she always expresses at seeing Daniel, and hurries Marcus inside. “What did he take ?” she asks, and Daniel could strangle her. Marcus doesn’t take anything, he is a professional, how dare she – but he is overdosing, Klaus was the only thing keeping his heart beating during the drive there, and the powder on the floor of his flat seemed weirdly crystallized, like it had solidified and broken. And there was no weapon that could explain Marcus’ injuries. And the conclusion Daniel and Luciana reach is. Bad.

He answers Luciana’s questions, asks for a small sample of Marcus’ blood, shouts at whoever he has on the phone at the time, and goes for the car. Luciana is baffled, Gilbert readies to drive, and Klaus says he will stay at the hospital and call if anything happens. It’s not a pretty arrangement, but the look on Daniel’s face was one that promised death to anything that tried to stop him, so.

I could go into length about the capture, about the way Daniel almost killed the Boss for his words, about the return to the hospital and the gruelling wait for news, about the way the Luciana on coffee break duty told Daniel off for criticizing her devotion to her work when he isn’t much better himself, about the relief Daniel felt at it being personal, a revenge of sorts, instead of something he’s heard much too often about his being heartless. He isn’t, if Marcus died it would break him, but he simply doesn’t know any other way to deal with these emotions than drowning them in work.

Later that night, after Steven has dragged him home to make him catch at least some sleep, he will tell Steven about the death of his grandfather, back when he was a kid, about Marcus crying for an hour, about himself not shedding a single tear, instead finishing the model boat the three of them had started because he needed to do something. It will be the first time they have that kind of discussion, the first time it feels like whatever they have going on is a serious relationship. But that is a story for another time.

When Marcus wakes up, a few days later, he asks Daniel to transmit his resignation letter. His recovery will take time, months even, to get back to a functioning state both physically and mentally, but that is the first step towards that. Another step will be to buy Leo and Nej lunch when he gets discharged, reconnecting with them. And another will be to ask Steven if the job offer was serious, and to accept it.

Marcus joins Libra as a blood mage with some background information on drug dealings, and he thinks, for the first time in forever, he can help.

(Also he hasn’t told Daniel anything about that last part and he is not looking forward to that conversation, at all.)

#kekkai sensen #blood blockade battlefront #marcus law #leonardo watch #yumi writes #note : blood magic and blood fighting techniques are not the same and actually dont have much in common #yes i actually made some magic theory for this. its. somewhere in my unscanned sketches #my naming conventions for most characters are. terrible. if i dont know your name ill just call you by your job #idk if read mores are still as buggy as they used to be on mobile but it they are im very sorry #body heat AU

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aquarianwisp · 6 years ago

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The way that words can become a curse.

//////trigger warning///////

One time when I was a teenager I became friends with a guy. We got along really well, we would go out with our group of friends and all of us would hang out. We were not what I considered a romance, in my own heart we were just friends. We would go out together to movies, go shopping with him and his sister, etc. It was just a normal friendship.

But then the gifts started.

Of course, I love gifts. I really appreciate them because I love giving people gifts. It’s one of my love languages. He got me once a very expensive piece of art that I really loved.

But after a while, he started confessing feelings for me that I could not reciprocate. I was a confused teenage girl and I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I was feeling quite vulnerable. But I didn’t feel the same way. So I told him that. But I wanted us to still be friends. To me, I had interpreted his gifts as just something you would give to your friend.

But he decided to explode. I was called a slut, a bitch, a horrible person. And I was apparently using him for money because he kept buying me gifts repeatedly. He didn’t want to be friends with me anymore. I was devastated because I genuinely enjoyed his friendship. He even went so far as to humiliate me in front of his family by telling them all how I was the worst person he ever met and how I had used him for money. He was so abusive I ended up crying my eyes out in front of his family. Of course, none of them did anything to stop his bullying behaviour. They just watched.

I didn’t ask him to buy me gifts. But I was apparently the reason that he didn’t want to know me any more. When I told my parents they said “Well if men give you gifts they like you. You should have expected that would happen if you weren’t willing to feel the same. That’s just the way things are. If you don’t do what a man wants, you will experience this. You should expect to experience this a lot in the future.”

??????????????

But why does it have to be like that? Why can’t that change? But I accepted their words because I was young and didn’t know any better. Every time after that when I looked at that artwork my friend had got me I felt so guilty. I called myself a slut, a bitch, and abusive person. I felt so upset because I truly believed I was horrible. That’s when the depression started, and that’s when I lost my self-respect. I had to hide the artwork from myself because every time I saw it I wanted to sink into the floor until I didn’t exist anymore. It was like the painting had become cursed with his words and my parent's words. If I saw it I would have immediate flashbacks in my mind of him screaming at me. I was never a person to throw away gifts, even if the friendship was over. I always keep gifts to remind me of things that were once beautiful. I even kept all the notes that my friends passed to me under the desk in class, all the letters I received, every drawing. If people give me something, I treasure it. So I kept the painting even if it made me feel terrible. When I moved out of home, I took it with me, but always kept it hidden from my eyes. I covered it with fabric every time I needed to move it.

Years passed and I found myself in an abusive relationship, and in a terrible career that meant I repeatedly was hurt by people physically. I ended up getting assaulted repeatedly but the thing was I never reported it, told anyone, or fought back. Why? Because I was told that I should expect it. That I was a horrible person, that I was a slut and I, therefore, deserved it. I tried to take someone to court once for assault, but I was so destroyed emotionally and mentally that I had no defence. I hadn’t fought back. So I lost my court case. I still had that artwork, and I had it hidden in a closet. Every time I walked past the closet I could feel the hate radiating out from behind the doors.

But my spirit eventually decided that enough was enough. As if some new energy or being had taken over my body I took control. I fought back, I screamed back, I threw him out on the street and out of my life for good. And then when that was done I quit my job, and having been one to always be spiritual, I dedicated myself to the service of the goddess and asked her to teach me self love and respect. I asked that I may never have to go through that abuse again without knowing that I can be strong enough to say enough is enough and I don’t deserve that.

That being said, I went through years of suffering still by the abuse of other people. But prayers are not always instant because sometimes there are some lessons you still need to learn first before they can be answered. I focused my mind on learning self-compassion. It has been a long and arduous path with a lot of pain and suffering, but I’ve had many great healings along the way.

But this just shows how powerful words can be. Unknowingly, my parents and my ex-friend’s words set me up for 10 years of suffering and struggle, their words became my personal truth and that painting served to remind me that I was who they said I was. It became a curse even without them knowing. You cannot say that words do not hurt. Sound is a vibration and these vibrations being energy can affect so much, as all things are made of energy even the physical body. Because of what they said, I developed depression, I became so anxious that doctors noticed my white blood cell count was always really high, and I kept experiencing hives and rashes from inflammation due to stress. I developed liver problems due to self-abusing with food, alcohol, and drugs because I was unable to cope with my own self-hatred, fear, and pain. The doctors had to repeatedly medicate me with things that had really terrible side effects, disrupted my menstruation, made me gain weight, get migraines, hallucinate etc.

It wasn’t until I began meditating regularly that I was able to move through the emotions that I was feeling. It’s been 10 years now, that painting is in the bin, and I have learned that even my physical body needs to be loved and honoured through my actions and choices.

So next time you want to scream at someone, next time you feel angry, next time you lose control, remember the energies you are throwing around. You have no idea what words can do to someone, no idea how powerful sound vibrations can be. As a spiritual healer, I have found energetic “glass shards” lodged in people’s aura when they have been screamed at by other people. And that’s not the limit. I’ve found energetic cords, spiritual mucous, weird energy “blankets” that suffocate auras, things that look like weapons, things that look like dirt, etc. You have no idea how words can hurt, how words can become someone’s personal truth.

And for anyone out there who is suffering through something similar to me, just remember that there is hope and there is healing for you. You just need to ask for it and remain strong while you wait. Keep asking for it. In time, you will find that your prayers will be answered. You can conquer this. It’s time to write your own personal truth. You decide who you are, you have control. You just need to take it back from whatever has hijacked it. You can do it, you are stronger than you know. It’s time for self-enquiry, time to ask yourself “Am I really who they say I am?”

Here are some resources for self-love and healing that can really help you along the way.

“The Mindful self-compassion workbook” by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer

“Women who run with the wolves” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes

“My body is not an apology” by Sonya Renee Taylor

Red Jasper- the stone of warrior energy. Brings strength to resist emotional domination by others, empowers you to fight for your freedom. Grounding and emotionally balancing.

Lepidolite- the stone for mental illness. Composed of lithium, the same element doctors use in treating mood disorders such as bipolar. Brings emotional control, connects you to divine understanding, stimulates confidence. Ruled by Libra, so definitely good for balance.

Basil leaves and oil- opens a pathway of blinding light that I like to call a holy fire. Extremely powerful in healing emotionally as it calls down this fire that can burn away all things painful and negative. Good for a bath, but even basil leaves placed over the chakras can be extremely powerful. Be careful with the essential oil, do not use undiluted as it can cause burns.

Rose essential oil, flowers or water- can be used to promote love towards one's physical body by bathing in them, putting on to the skin, using as a perfume etc. Brings beauty, love, desire and self-appreciation.

Rhodonite crystal- Rhodonite is known for its capacity to bring emotional healing and to release blocked energy from within the Anahata chakra. Having a piece on your body may help to stop you from taking action when you are feeling angry, fearful and panicky when traumatic events are unfolding in your life.

Bloodstone- A powerful stone for stimulating healthy circulation, calms the production of white blood cells, stimulates the lymph nodes. Reduces mental confusion and inflammation caused by emotional flare-ups.

Amazonite- balances the nervous system, which is how anxiety and emotions can travel through the body. Allows you to see both sides of a situation. Manifests universal love.

#self love #curses #self confidence #respect #self respect #spiritual healing #spirituality #healing #anxiety #depression #mental illness

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ladyluck852 · 6 years ago

Text

애정 (Lee Felix x Reader)

A/N: I love Felix, that is all. ‘애정’ in korean means affection, but there are a million different ways to interpret a word in korean so... anyways, I hope you like it, I’m making this into a short series called the homesick au. Happy birthday Felix, I love you, you little shit💖🖤 also shoutout to @kpop-and-overwatch for living the struggle with me, she’s the best 😓💖

Word Count: 2.3k

Genre: Love, all the love, all the fluff. Long distance!au

Warnings: none, don’t even think there’s a curse word in there

Summary: Being in a long distance relationship is hard, when Felix finally visits you in California before college all you want to do is the most™️

Masterlist

“Felix put your window up!” Y/n choked, the air that suddenly whipped through the car made her ears pop and she was glad she was a good driver or else they’d be in a completely different predicament. Felix didn’t hear her, he was too busy yelling out the window, the turns on the freeway ramp making him feel a way he wasn’t used to. Maybe it was because he was out in a foreign country with a girl he loved and never wanted to leave, his jet lag had worn off and now all she wanted to do was take him to her favorite places.

“I got that summertim-“ y/n pulled him back into the car before he could yell his lungs out, his voice already hoarse from the last thirty seconds. He didn’t want to stop, he was actually really happy for once. He turned to pout at y/n but stopped when he saw the red blush on her cheeks, mischievous boyfriend mode activated when he saw this, his hands immediately going to tickle her sides.

“Felix!” Y/n screeched, one hand tightening on the steering wheel while she used to other one to smack him across the shoulder, “I’m driving! Do you want to die?”

Felix laughed, pretending like that didn’t hurt but knowing he deserved it, “You’re so aggressive. Have I not given you enough love? Do you need more?” He teased, making pouty lips while y/n tried to ignore him. It was hard enough driving with Felix around to distract her, the sun in her eyes and the nervousness that came with not knowing if Felix would like anything she had to show him.

Y/n sighed, giving into her boyfriend and leaning over to kiss him quickly, her heart rate accelerating slightly but calming down once her eyes got back on the road and she realized they were safe and close to their exit. She sincerely hated driving around in downtown, but there was one place she was trying to get to before traffic hit on the way back home, and Felix was genuinely interested.

“Wait stand here so I can take a photo” y/n said, posing Felix with the buildings behind him while he held the black ice cream in front of his face. He did a peace sign, smiling for the photo before pulling y/n close.

“Will this turn my mouth black?” He asked, his arm tightly around y/n’s shoulder as she shrugged. She actually didn’t know, mostly because she’d been waiting since the place opened to go with Felix, she had been waiting a really long time so she just dove right in. It didn’t really matter if her mouth turned black, Felix wouldn’t care since they’d both look like idiots anyways.

“Anything?” Y/n asked, sticking her tongue out as Felix’s face turned red from holding in his laughter.

“Oh my...your entire mouth is black” Felix laughed, laughing so hard he bent over, his stomach already hurting. Y/n couldn’t help but laugh along with him, laughing even harder when Felix’s ice cream made an escape and flopped out of the cone, “Ah! Why?”

It was, y/n’s turn to laugh, taking a more practical approach and tilting her head back to laugh at her pouting boyfriend. Felix watched her with butterflies in his stomach, his face reddening at the stupid overwhelming amount of love coursing through him. Y/n and Felix met on an exchange program her first year of high school, they went to the same school for a year before she moved back and he almost died without her. Luckily she came back, some of her family lived in Australia and were getting married and he was invited to the wedding as her plus one. Naturally, they were inseparable by nothing but distance and he’d spent years waiting to just come back to her.

It was a bit scary, the plane ride to a foreign country and not knowing where the hell he was, but if y/n could do it then he’d be strong and do it for her too. Y/n noticed Felix was deep in thought, she slipped her hand into his while she drove, he finally broke out of it and grabbed the little box on her dashboard.

“What’s this?” He asked, flicking the buttons on the fast track transponder while y/n rolled her eyes. Luckily she didn’t need to use it right now or else she’d be freaking out about him moving the buttons.

“That’s so I can drive in the fast lane while the peasants drive in the slow lane. What do you wanna do next? Maybe check out the mall?” She asked, knowing he’d love to see the mall by her house. It was undoubtedly huge, had every expensive store he could think of, after that she would buy him in n out and take him to the beach, she just wanted to spoil him honestly.

Y/n wasn’t quite sure if Felix loved her as much as she loved him, but she was glad he was here. Sometimes their relationship seemed like it wouldn’t work out, truthfully they didn’t talk as much as they liked to and sometimes it was too hard to just keep going. The distance was terrible, being away from him for so long was terrible, and she got the sense it wasn’t going to change much even though they were older now. Now they both had university classes and Felix was going to be moving to Seoul of all places for school.

It was true teenage angst, everything that came with young love. But how were they supposed to be so sure that the way they were feeling was different, that this time around it was actual love that would last? Y/n sincerely hoped so, and Felix, well he knew.

“Let’s go in here” Felix said, tugging on y/n’s hand as he pointed to the bright and colorful makeup store, a store that y/n wasn’t unfamiliar with since she’d worked at Sephora for about six months during her last year in high school. Felix knew this, he knew she really liked makeup and even if she didn’t always wear it he knew she’d enjoy coming in here to browse. He had money saved from his summer jobs, he wanted to buy her something for once, y/n had spoiled him to no end and he’d only been here for three days.

“Do you have any of this? It would look so pretty on you” Felix said, holding up a highlight compact and putting some on Y/n’s face as she tried not to squeal.

“How do you know what highlight is? Have you been doing research?” She teased, making Felix blush as he rolled his eyes at her. He tugged her along, picking up things as he went before stopping in front of the lipsticks. Y/n watched him as he examined the lipsticks, realizing he kind of knew what he was doing, she was awfully proud of him. Felix certainly surprised her in everything he did, he was very smart and caring, talented and driven, her parents adored the hell out of him and it was a bit scary how much freedom they were allowed. I mean of course, they were two adults now, but they let them share a room and neither of them knew if that was a thing. Do parents just...let you do that?

Felix held up a lipstick, using a tester to get product and he looked excited to see that y/n was actually eager about the lipstick he chose. A pretty peachy color, something that would dry matte and soft, Felix knew it would make him want to kiss her if she wore it. But he always wanted to kiss her, maybe because he couldn’t do it regularly and y/n was a girl who deserved to be kissed regularly. She supported his every goal, was always there for him, even when she had something bothering her she was always there for him.

“If I mess up I’m going to blame your staring” Felix muttered, his hand shaking as he held the tester up to y/n’s lips. She averted her eyes in an instant, not realizing she’d been staring at his freckles like an idiot. She closed her eyes, waiting to get lipstick smeared all over her lips and knowing she’d probably have to fix it. At least it wasn’t a color that would stain.

“Oh” y/n mumbled, feeling Felix’s lips against hers instead of lipstick, her hand that was holding her bag going limp and all her items clattering to the floor. When Felix pulled away he was blushing, clearing his throat, he picked up all of her things before disappearing into the next makeup aisle.

Y/n swallowed hard, her face hot and her head full, she certainly wasn’t expecting that and wasn’t sure if she would EVER get used to kissing him. It was just something she never got to do, and you’d think they’d do it a lot more often but Felix still made her so nervous. Felix was her first real love, the intense and magnetic pull she’d felt towards him the first time they met was still present and unwavering even to this day.

“You can’t buy me that” y/n whined, her arms around Felix’s waist as he drug her to the checkout counter. A very nice eyeshadow palette in hand, the peachy lipstick to go with it, it wasn’t THAT expensive. The palette was on sale, the lipstick wasn’t even over $15, he was expecting to spend more money here than he actually was.

“Shh, you’ll just have to pay me back,” Felix said quietly, leaning his head on top of hers while she buried her face in his chest wondering how, “with cuddles”

“I can do that” y/n said, her voice muffled and blush hidden by the fabric of his shirt. She wanted to cry, her heart felt so full it was gross, she’d spent the last two days as the big spoon while Felix recovered from grossly intense jet lag. It almost made him not want to go home, well okay that was a lie, he’d use the jet lag as an excuse and y/n as the reason.

The day passed by, it was close to sunset now and Felix was more than happy to have a bag of in-n-out on his lap while y/n made a mad dash to the beach. It was only a ten minute drive, nothing serious, they’d make it in time. Felix insisted on paying for parking, it was expensive and stupid but it got them a good spot while y/n struggled to navigate the dense sands of Huntington Beach. Now she didn’t really enjoy the beach for the sand, she hated the sand, she hated how it stuck to you and got everywhere. She hated finding sand in her eyelashes in the morning, in her hair, in her shoes. But she loved the ocean, so powerful and calming, she could stare at it for hours. Having Felix around just made it even better.

“Hurry and eat before it gets cold” y/n scolded, sounding much like Felix’s mother when she noticed he was staring at her. He wished she’d gotten something to eat, but he assumed living in California you just got used to eating in-n-out, y/n was kinda tired of it. She just ate her fries while they shared a lemonade, the sounds of the waves crashing into the shore making them both a bit sleepy.

“I had a really really good day. I don’t ever want to leave” Felix sighed, his lips rolling against each other as he glanced down at y/n who was leaning against his chest. He flicked her head, knowing she was falling asleep and she made a funny noise.

“Ass”

“I said something cute” he muttered, feeling embarrassed about the fact that she hadn’t responded because she was falling asleep. His cute words were wasted on the salty air.

“I heard and I’m crying, it just sucks being so far from you” y/n confessed, her chest tightening and her face red while Felix realized she actually was crying. Nothing he wasn’t used to, their relationship was hard and oftentimes they both ended up crying after or during a call. Now he was here to comfort her, something he didn’t normally have the luxury of doing.

“Ah, it’s okay, it’s not going to be like this forever. Aren’t you planning on going to school in Japan? We’ll be so close to each other, the plane rides will be shorter, we could see each other more often. I won’t be halfway across the world and we could do this all the time” Felix mumbled into her hair, holding her tightly as she listened to and held onto every word he said.

“I didn’t get in” y/n whispered, the stupid hot tears didn’t stop as Felix reached up to cradle her face. He stared at the water, taking a deep breath for the both of them before tilting her face up.

“Listen panini head, nothing’s going to keep us apart okay? Not a stupid admissions office in Japan, not an ocean, not some time difference or a dumb argument when we’re both tired and stressed out. There’s a million other universities all over the world that want you, can I go out on a limb here and suggest the University of Sydney?” Felix laughed, wiping his face as y/n stared at the boy she loved and knew he was right. I mean, they’d made it this far over the course of four years, what could possibly go wrong?

“I love you...panini head” y/n grumbled, glaring at him as he grabbed onto her hand and linked their pinky fingers.

“Promise you’ll love me forever and I’ll do the same. Forever”

“Forever. Bet”

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blackpinehq · 6 years ago

Photo

THE ALLEGIANT

facts

. name: tomás “tommy” jacob flores . age: 23 . gender identity & pronouns: cis male, he/him . occupation: line cook at the diner

backstory

you have always believed in a higher power, in something larger than yourself. you yourself were a ‘miracle baby. after you defied all odds, you devoted your life to thanking the force that had gifted you with your life. your family never missed out on mass, and you remember yourself shaking father williams’ hand at every gathering ever since you were three. after abigail’s death, however, you found yourself filled by uncertainty as her name was slandered by the church. you knew she had not been as lucky as you had, that she had not followed the same path of light you had, but that did not mean she was to be punished for it. for the first time, you can feel yourself questioning the institution you’ve grown so fond of. is following god’s path worth turning your back on your late friend?

connections

. the zealous » they were the priest’s child, and because of this, you two existed in the same circles. you met on the field overlooking the church, bonding over your shared beliefs. now, both of you seem to feel on edge. you’ve always relied on each other in times of crisis. will you two come together to defy the institution that raised you?

. the insurgent » you feel bad for them, but at the same time, you don’t. you think it strange for such a paradox of emotions to cloud your judgement, but it is what it is. for one, you disapprove of their recklessness and defiance, and on the other, you envy them, for they live with no rules or constrains. still, your interactions are, more often than not, tense and heated.

faceclaim

froy gutierrez

The Flores family is not the sort of family you used to find among the regular members of the church. Instead Luis and Hannah Flores were the sort you’d usually find passed out at the bar, or on the street buying more illegal substances. They had a poor reputation, and came from the wrong side of the tracks to put it lightly. So, how has Tommy ended up where he is? How has his family turned their reputation around, and become beacons of light to those around them? The Church helped. Hannah Flores became pregnant with her son, and was told he’d likely not survive if she didn’t sober up. No alcohol, no drugs. Nothing she used to numb whatever it was that was causing her pain. It would kill him, and maybe kill her. Even if she tried to get clean, there was a chance he wouldn’t be a healthy child. As you can imagine this was devastating to hear for both Hannah, and her husband Luis. Where could they possibly turn to for help?

Reverend Williams personally showed up at the Flores household to help both Hannah and Luis through it all. He worked with them to get clean, he helped them find steady employment, he was there for them when little Tomás Jacob Flores was born three months early. It was weeks Tommy was at the hospital, with very little good news from the Doctors. Yet through some miracle, a month after he was born he was released from the hospital into his parents care with a clean bill of health. He is told this story often. By his parents, by Reverend Williams, by his doctor, by random townsfolk who knew about it… The odds were against him at birth, but the Lord must have seen something in him, something that would be a gift to the world he didn’t want to take away. Tommy is grateful he is alive today, and he is sure to show it every Sunday at mass, but he’s not so sure about that being a 'gift’ thing.

Even so Tommy had a nice life after that. Not an easy life, mind you, but nice. Steady employment doesn’t mean a lot of income, but his parents tried their hardest to provide for themselves and their son. At a young age he did what he could to help them as well, often forgoing social activities with his friends to do odd jobs around town to supplement the household income. School was alright, though he wasn’t the brightest kid he worked hard enough to pull good grades. After school, when he was old enough, he got a job as a Dishwasher at the local diner. That was his life. School, work, home. Not to mention there was always Church during the weekends. There was mass on Sundays. There was the youth group where he got together with teens his age. That was nearly the extent of his social life. Perhaps it sounds boring to others, but Tommy was never unhappy. The opposite actually, he was grateful.

Going to school was simple, but it didn’t last forever. Eventually he graduated, and decided that he would continue working at the Diner to pursue a career as a cook. It was something that interested him – and he was never going to have the money to attend any college – so it was what he continued with. He moved up the ladder from a dishwasher to a line cook, and whenever the diner was in need of someone to step in he was the first one there. On the other side of that, graduating high school meant people started asking him questions. “Hey, Tommy, when are you going to settle down with a nice girl?” “Tommy there are lovely girls within the church who would love to get to know you better.” “Tommy, when are you planning on getting married?” Etc…

No, he didn’t want to live at his parents house forever, he was trying to save up to move out on his own. But did he want to find a nice girl, get married, and settle down with her? Tommy knew the answer to that. He’d always known the answer to that.

In school there were a number of girls who had shown interest in him, he had always been an attractive guy, friendly, and well mannered. Back then he could always use his religion as a shield, as an excuse to fend them off. He wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, he wanted to wait to get serious. It wasn’t completely a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either. Tommy wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, because he didn’t like girls. He liked boys. He was gay. It was easy to ignore in school, because he really wasn’t ready to get serious with anyone, boy, or girl. But now? … He doesn’t want to continue to lie to people. Not to his parents who have done so much for him, and keep talking about him getting married and having grandchildren. Not to Reverend Williams who has pointed out multiple girls who are interested in him. Not to the girls who he is sure are great people. Tommy is worried about how people will react to him coming out, of course. But he had never seen the Church turn its back on anyone before, surely they’d accept him. That was what they were always taught, right? Acceptance?

Then suddenly Abigail Meyers disappeared. While the link between her disappearance and him stepping further back in the closet isn’t a clear one, it was absolutely there. He watched people he respected, people he liked, all suddenly started slandering Abigail’s name. They said terrible things. That because she hadn’t followed a holy path she was going to suffer, and deserve it. That because she wasn’t truly righteous she was never going to come back, and maybe they didn’t want her to. She had a family who loved her and missed her. Tommy knew Abigail, himself. They had been friends since school. He knew she did what she could to help others, she even volunteered at the children’s orphanage. How could people say things like that about her? She’d done absolutely nothing wrong.

It was the first time he’d really noticed the cruelty in the people around him, and … he didn’t know what to do about it. It devastated him, and it made him afraid. What happened to love, and acceptance? Certainly the Lord would not want a young woman to suffer just because she didn’t regularly attend church. Tommy is not exactly sure where to go from this point forward. It has shaken him, but he can’t keep denying that something is wrong when it’s been so clearly shoved in his face for weeks now.

#lsrpg #skeleton rpg #mystery rpg #town rpg #a.#m.#tm.#ta.

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remastered-feedback · 6 years ago

Link

Alright, lets run down the problems here.

Many, like Butcher, say they’re in training. Others report disability. All are missing out on a hot labor market and crucial years on the job, ones traditionally filled with the promotions and raises that build the foundation for a career.

I don’t think it needs mentioning just how offensive lumping someone who’s on disability in with a group your article is centered around painting as making unwise career decisions. I’m pretty sure most of the people who are disabled would much rather be fully able-bodied and working.

Their absence from the working world has wider economic consequences. It marks a loss of human talent that dents potential growth. Young people who get a rocky start in the job market face a lasting pay penalty. And economists partly blame the decline in employed, marriageable men for the recent slide in nuptials and increase in out-of-wedlock births. Those trends foster economic insecurity among families, which could worsen outcomes for the next generation.

“How dare you not buy weddings you don’t want and houses you can’t afford!”

It’s difficult to pin down whether the demographic wants to remain on the sidelines or is kept there by a dearth of attractive options.

It’s the second one. As a member of the demographic in-question, I can tell you with 100% certainty that it’s the second one. I’d much rather be working, making money, saving up to move out. I spent all summer applying to entry-level jobs supposedly aimed at people with lower skill levels, as well as for jobs my degree should have me eminently qualified for. I’m not unemployed because I want to be, I’m unemployed because nothing is hiring that pays enough to have anything to save after taxes, bills, transit costs, student loans, etc.

Other social changes could be exacerbating the trend. Better video games might make leisure time more attractive, some economists hypothesize, and opioid use might make many less employable. Young adults increasingly live with their parents, and cohabitation might be providing a “different form of insurance,” said Erik Hurst, an economist at the University of Chicago.

“Clearly the problem isn’t a lack of competitive wages or work-life balance, it’s those damn videogames! That, and they’re all drug-addicted layabouts. Those are probably tied to the out-of-wedlock children we mentioned too...”

Replace “videogames” with “rock music” and you have literally the exact same argument that’s been made about every single generation for the past 70 years.

Young men have been reporting higher rates of school and training as a reason for their non-employment in a Labor Department survey, and a large share say that disability and illness are keeping them from work. Those factors explain much of the wider post-2007 participation gap between 25- to 34-year-olds and their older counterparts, according to an analysis by Evercore ISI economist Ernie Tedeschi.

“Those damn lazy millennials, ignoring this booming economy!”

“Actually, a lot of us are too sick to work, and a lot of those who are able to work are too busy getting more advanced training to get a job too. We spent 20-30 years watching our parents work themselves to death in jobs they hated, while they spent the entire time telling us that education and advanced training were the ticket to a better life than that.”

“Of course, it’s the videogames! That and the drugs...”

I can go on about this article for a while, but I have better things to do. Like, topically, applying for jobs. One last thing I want to touch on though is to give my personal experience about why I, a man between the ages of 25 and 34 who is ostensibly the target of this article, am currently unemployed and not partaking in that “hot labor market.”

I graduated college in 2015, and managed to get a job in my field a few months after graduation. I worked that job until mid-2017, when I quit to go back to school. The main reason I quit was because it became clear pretty quickly that there was no room for advancement in that company. Two annual reviews in, I was working the same entry-level part-time position that I started with, at the same entry-level hourly wage I started with. With the exception of Jewish holidays - which I think I made up for by coming in on Christmas and Easter - jury duty, two days I was bedridden, and that time there was literally an overturned truck blocking the highway, I never missed a day, and I never said no. They said jump, I said how high, did everything you were supposed to.

Both of my annual reviews were glowing, and yet in this job that, according to the article, was supposed to be full of raises and promotions, and doing work that, according to my manager, was top-notch, I repeatedly got passed over for both.

Annoyed that I was working borderline full-time hours - technically you’re not full-time unless you’re working 40+ hours a week, and I was routinely working 36-38 - without any of the benefits of full-time work, regularly getting at-most one day off a week, all just for an attaboy and a paycheck that barely covered commuting costs and student loans, I quit and went back to school.

I thought about getting a different job in the same field, but I decided school made more sense, because programming and network security, the two fields at the heart of Maryland Governor Larry Hogan’s jobs initiative, a jobs initiative he’s so proud of that it was one of the core pushes to his reelection campaign earlier this week, had much higher earnings potential than my old field.

To recap, I found a job, worked it for a year or two, did everything I was supposed to and then some according to my boss, yet got passed over for a raise or a promotion multiple times. Dissatisfied, and at the urging of my pro-business, pro-jobs governor, I left and went back to school to get certifications and complete coursework to change careers into the field he was aggressively pushing for more people in my state to change into. I did very well in my courses, got certified, and spent all summer applying to entry-level jobs in my new field. I got one call-back all summer, and it was for a company that wanted me to relocate to Northern Virginia for a job that paid less than $20,000 a year. Housing in northern VA is ridiculously expensive, with a median house value over $500k. To call that financial suicide would be an understatement, especially since my interviewer made it very clear that raises, promotions, or other advancements would not be happening for at least three years. Eventually, I got desperate enough to apply for jobs in my old field, and the only place that returned my call was the place I used to work. I’d prefer not to return there, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m considering it.

I’m not asking for pity. My ship will come in eventually, even if it’s less of a ship and more of a canoe, and even if I have to build the damn thing myself, board by board. All I’m asking is that instead of assuming that that millennials are out-of-work because we’re lazy drug-addicted gamers with unrealistic standards, consider that maybe we’re out-of-work because we’re getting next-to-no job offers, that the job offers we are getting pay so little that once you factor in the costs necessary to take them, they’re a net loss, and that when we do actually get a job, those raises and promotions you seem to think are so plentiful are nowhere to be found even after literal years of good, hard work.

Also, stop calling this a red-hot booming economy. Wages are stagnant and haven’t kept up with inflation in our lifetimes, housing has become prohibitively expensive in the majority of cities with jobs to offer, underemployment is at the highest it’s been in decades, and the vast majority of jobs that have been created since the recession are low-wage, part-time jobs with no potential for advancement or career prospects.

The only people this is a booming economy for are people who were already well off. For people trying to get started or who don’t have much money in the bank, the people that this article is criticizing for our lack of economic participation, this is a horrible economy where everything is expensive, home ownership is a pipe dream, nobody’s willing to hire anyone for more than minimum wage, and in the off chance you do land a job that’s not a dead end, they have no interest in giving you a raise or a promotion at any point.

#Drama ahoy!#Feed is mad

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majorxmaggiexboy · 6 years ago

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i recently remembered a film my brother and i watched several times as children, and that got me thinking about the other stuff we would watch. most of which seems kind of weird on reflection. we don’t actually have any of these anymore, so just for funsicles i’m trying to think of the films and see if i can remember any of the details before actually googling them.

Live Action

Two Brothers - a couple of tiger cubs are captured by poachers or something and separated from each other. one is trained to perform in the circus and is also fed candy by some guy, the circusmaster is an absolute [censored]. the tiger learns to jump through fire which is important later. the other cub is given to a little boy (TERRIBLE IDEA) and is a pet for a while until he’s sold to someone else. the tigers are eventually reunited but then they’re chased by people with guns who try to trap them by setting things on fire BUT because the first tiger learned not to be scared of fire he shows his brother how to jump through it and they escape and are reunited with this other tiger that has a hole in her ear from a really close call with poachers. i think she’s their mom.

Gunther and the Paper Brigade - idk if it was knock-off Newsies or what but like there’s this kid named Gunther whose brother keeps an ant farm and said the line “did you know that all the ants in the world would weigh as much as all the people in the world?” and i think they’d just moved to a new house but Gunther joins some kind of newspaper group and at first he is AWFUL at delivering papers like he just slings em any ol’ place but then he gets into a sort of war with a bully and i think somebody orally siphoned some gasoline at one point and the brother’s ants definitely came into play and in the end Gunther was really good at delivering papers. He rode a bike. at one point he’s hanging out at the mall pretty often for some reason and his brother teases him about it.

Ben Wagner - Uhhh family moves to new town, kid has an older sister and a younger sister, there’s a freaky adult at the school who said the line “Wagner. Waaaagner. I’ve got it. The name is now set. in my. brain....,,..” Benny’s miserable for some reason but he meets a kind of mysterious girl who takes him to visit her elderly relative but to get there they have to walk across a log that’s across a river/waterfall type of situation. the elderly relative says something to the effect that if they all stand on one side of the house it’ll tip over. Ben regularly visits these people. His dad gives him some chores but he half-arses all of them and the dad walks him around to each thing (like the car that was supposed to be washed, the garage that was supposed to be tidied, w/e) and goes “you did a lousy job”. The older sister wants money for something but hasn’t saved up her allowance so she demands money from Ben and says the line “I bet you have tons of money squirreled away”. He goes to visit the mysterious girl and her relative but his little sister follows him and falls off the log bridge so he jumps in the water to save her and he manages it but then they’re both in the hospital.

No More Baths - Guy runs a club for kids and has some rules in place specifically to keep the kids safe but one kid breaks the rules and winds up getting himself hurt so the guy who just wanted to do nice things for the community kids gets straight up ARRESTED and his dog is put in the pound and the whole thing was some racially-motivated bull and the kids aren’t having it so they protest by refusing to bathe and i think they get to testify at the guy’s hearing too and anyway he wins so then the kids go play in some water bc they haven’t washed in weeks.

Goosebumps: Night in Terror Tower: Some dude is a little too enthusiastic about explaining to two children how the Rack works “It stretched, annnd streeettched, unTIL HIS BOOOOOOOOONES, WERE PUUULLLLLLLLED...poP. Right Out Of Their Sockets. :) “ and then those kids get chased around by some dude who wants to kill them or something. they try to buy a bus pass but they have medieval currency and the girl’s like “Our parents wouldn’t give us play money” but then they wind up in like actual medieval England. I think the girl’s name was Sidney.

Bunch of Assorted Wildlife Documentaries: idk there was a thing about an elephant painting and a lot to do with dolphins idk i think there was a bit of Steve Irwin in there too

Cartoons

The Gallivants - like Divergent but with very Orange ants who are assigned a career? or pick out a career? but when they reach adulthood they’re all supposed to develop something called a “kabump” which is like an extra segment for their creepy insect bodies. They wear shoes and their limbs can have either pink stripes or blue stripes. they might wear gloves? anyway the protagonist is named something like “Shando” and he doesn’t develop his “kabump” on time so it’s scandalous. His friends desert him or something. I think he wanted to be a musician and so makes himself a fake kabump but he plays the saxophone a little too vigorously or something and makes it come off, at which point he’s shamed and rejected by literally everyone but at some point he also tries to work in construction but accidentally breaks stuff and is told “You’re not a Con-struct. You’re a DE-STRUCT.” then he wanders around in a labyrinthine cave fighting a two-headed creature called something like, The VanterViper that wants to kill all the baby ants or something at i think in the end he’s appointed like official Mom of all the babies or something of that nature

The Ugly Duckling - Standard retelling of the classic tale, this one was created almost exclusively to sell Crayola products i’m pretty sure. This version has a baby swan just trying to live his best life but then a bunch of [redacted] sing at his adoptive mom about how “one bad apple spoils the batch” and he either runs away or gets kicked out. then he runs into a mouse who wears boots and has red hair and she proceeds to call him “Ugly” as if that’s his name, for the entire rest of the movie. He winds up inside a house at one point and two freaky looking cats sing at him about the importance of having “a high IQ” i think a church burns down and he saves the mouse? over the course of the film he gets more and more swan-like in appearance and maybe works for a theater for a little while and then everyone loves him.

Scamper - a bunch of penguins are trying to hatch their eggs but then they’re attacked by...something....and one penguin feels bad about losing some eggs so he takes someone else’s but then admits what he did and returns the egg to its real parents and everyone mourns the loss of their children while being grateful for the survivors. when the eggs hatch there’s like a little pink penguin and a little bluish penguin and they’re friends, they’re learning to slide during Penguin School but then they get captured and wind up on a boat and there’s a dog. They eat really tasty-looking crackers out of bags and are terrorized by the ship’s crew until they manage to escape and find their way back home to their grieving parents.

Willy the Sparrow - a sick (literally and figuratively) young boy has fun bullying a cat and being a [redacted] to birds but then an elderly woman turns him into a sparrow to teach him a lesson. He meets other birds, all of whom have decidedly human heads of hair, including an old man sparrow who teaches him to fly. he winds up challenging the former child-leader-of-the-sparrows for power using his human smarts to amaze them all and eventually leads an attack on the cat who rightfully holds a massive grudge against him. idk he like helps them find food or something and then gets turned back into a human maybe

The Seventh Brother - a young child is moving to a new place and brings her puppy, but somehow his carrier is knocked out of the car??? or something?? and he winds up lost in the forest but is rescued by a large family of rabbits who teach him how to act like a rabbit. He saves one of them from being carried off by a bird but then begins to die of malnutrition as dogs can’t live on the same diet as rabbits for any length of time. also, he rescues a former tormentor from a creepy-as-hell predator and is badly wounded in the process, prompting the rabbits to band together to get him home to his owner. they succeed and he’s pretty much cured by one (1) bowl of puppy food.

Some Blue’s Clues Special: idk whatever’s the one with the treble-clef and the treasure hunt where the ‘treasure’ turned out to be Steve’s grandma’s cookies that you can tell the exact taste and smell of just by looking at them and also the grandma made an appearance too

That Weird Puppet Cat in the Hat Thing with the grouchy bird who had to be taught how to play pretend but then was pushed into a panic attack when the group was playing pirates and he imagined it too vividly so then they explained that he could change the story at any time and also at one point they played a game called “pass the yawn” and the bird just went OFF more than once

Some cartoon, i think it was Anastasia, where at one point someone’s taking some stuff away and the girl says what on reflection i think might have been “My luggage!” but at the time i thought was “my lungs!” and i spent the whole movie thinking they done straight up confiscated the girl’s lungs.

The Swan Princess - and i remember nothing except the way Odette would say “Darren!” and the fact that she spent a lot of time as a bird and there was a puffin. also Darren was one of my early crushes purely because i liked his name.

The Secrets of NIHM 2: main character’s name was Timothy and was one of the first characters i mentally fanfic’d about. there was some song that was like “Just! say! Yes!” where i think he was being pressured to do drugs or be experimented on or something but mostly i remember him singing “I am my father’s son” and me being so confused thinking “well yeah?? Who else’s son could you be???”

idk some Thumbalina thing all i remember is “Deary! Marry the Mole!”

Friggin’ Barbie Rapunzel there was a purple(?) dragon and Rapunzel liked to paint and that movie was where i learned the word “adequate” and i’m still mad at that woman for being so rude like lady. who raised you. where are your manners. i think the dad dragon wanted the purple dragon to hate humans or something idk

some other film where there was a very definitely purple dragon but i can’t remember any details so it’s just going to haunt me forever but it was like a small-ish purple dragon.

#personal #movies #some of these didn't seem Weird until i started really thinking about them #turning the memory over a few times #in which i remember every movie child!me ever watched apparently #seventh brother was my great-grandad's favorite okay he and my great-grandma loved that one #willy the sparrow was also a frequent flier oh my nO #i have to actually google all these now and i'm gonna yell

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masslessobtrusion · 4 years ago

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Metamucil

Note: I wrote this over a day and I sometimes write several things at the same time, lose track. I didn’t feel like editing this and pasted what was in the text document. I started taking Metamucil. I’ve never shit better in my life. So smooth, one push, and I feel so clean. I warmed up a piece of pizza. My Dad was mumbling something and I heard my Mom say “we’ve had a good night so far”. My Dad was angry and cussing at something and when my Mom asked him what I said because of her hearing. He barked “I don’t know what the FUCK he said!”. It’s just like, yup. Oh, I mentioned satellites were flying over at 7pm this week and my Dad barked “aint gonna see shit!”, interrupting me. I tried telling my Dad about a YouTube video I saw of people making coolers out of totes and insulation. But the Puggle started screeching so loud at the cat and my Dad started screaming “STFU! Fucking god damn cat!”. The puggle screeches at everything. Not just the cat. But yeah. Usually he threatens to kill the cat but he didn’t say it this time. It still makes me want to cry. It’s so loud. My Dad doesn’t listen to what I say and interrupts me most of the time with some random ignorant shit. But I still have an urge to have conversations with humans. I want to talk to people. Arielle isn’t talking to me because I made comments about how she works for her dad’s company. When I said that to Arielle, I was high on benzos. I went through 15mg of clonazepam in 2 days. I have zero tolerance to benzos and last time I did drugs was alcohol on New Years by myself. I think the point I was trying to make was about how she made comments about how I’m always a victim and make excuses. But she has never suffered like I have. I have no safety net. She has multiple safety nets. What would she be doing right now if she didn’t? Who tf knows. I alluded to her not being able to see the scope of my struggle because she’s an attractive female whose parents supplied her education, multiple shelters, vehicles. As well as her current and future career. She will inherit the business too. Her life so far seems like a vacation because she can always work for her Dad and gets the benefits of having a family business. It’s fucking awesome. Can even live in apartments at the shop if you need. So, she has been able to pursue things that make her happy. Because her basic needs are supplied. She lives a fairly frugal lifestyle. I think that’s awesome. Her siblings are friends with each other. It’s great. It wasn’t an insult. She used to be super into eco-feminist stuff and she’s quick to judge people as being bad people. So, I’ve often felt that she has me listed in that bad people department. But I wonder if my carbon footprint is smaller, since I don’t consume much or go anywhere. Kind of shows how flawed that type of thinking is. I can’t make thousands on OnlyFans right now. She could if she wanted. She even said she supports people who do. I don’t have an issue with it either. This angered her for some reason. But instead of talking about it. She shut down the conversation. Put me in time out. Blocked me. That pissed me off. Now, she’s going to act like she’s the victim. She will barely talk to me or respond. This is my only “friend”. How fucking pathetic is that? Compared to me. Surrounded by piss with a mouth breathing racist berating me multiple times a day. I started talking to Arielle after Lauren passed away. I literally had no one to talk to. I dated Arielle briefly in 2011, 2013, and kind of remained friends as I became friends with her brother. Last time I talked to Arielle before Lauren passed was a year prior, when she said she would talk to me regularly for now on in a friendly manner. She asked for my address to write to me. I felt like the only reason she asked for the address was to make sure I wasn’t living in her state still, lol. I was excited and I remember that conversation going well. I never heard from her until I googled Lauren’s name and saw that her funeral was last week. Arielle knew, but didn’t inform me. Her brother knew too. No one told me. Yeah. That pisses me off. I wrote her brother and I texted Arielle. She said I could keep texting her. I’ve told her about this blog, I’ve sent her many of the same stories. I guess she has a busy work and social life. She barely responds to me. Barely tells me about her life. She tells me to get a job and get out of this place. I tell her it’s not that easy. I could use some help, a friend. I need money of course but I’ve never asked for it or received anything from anyone yet. I don’t know what I’d do with money. I’d like to have a van or something where I could just get away from all of the craziness in this house. She became triggered when I mentioned that she has a nice life. I acquired 30 .5mg clonazepam the night before. I took 15mg over 2 days and drank whiskey. When Arielle ghosted me, I started feeling suicidal, took more and more. I was in a loop of anger. In the past, fear of abandonment has been a huge issue in my life. I’ve explained this to Arielle and there have been similar situations before. She was just like. “It’s called respect. I’m not talking to you anymore.”. I don’t know what I sent her. I called her a trust fund kid and told her it’s okay, that’s what parents should do for their kids. Maybe she’s embarrassed of her families wealth and privilege because the way she presents herself is sort of eco-feminist. I started conversing with her last winter. She has mentioned being concerned about the environment several times. That struck me as such a privileged thing for someone to say. I agree with the sentiment. It’s like saying, “I don’t even look at the cost of things, I just buy it.” around poor people. But it’s like, hey. Remember me, the guy you’ve been known for 10 years who is a half step away from homelessness, institution, and death? But shows glimpses of the fun loving person you know they’re capable of being? Arielle was a big reason for why I ended up in the hospital in 2019. I had it in my head that she was going to come visit me. It was my first summer back home. Things weren’t going well with my family. I was drinking. Then, I started doing benzos. Arielle gave me an ultimatum to stop doing drugs or she won’t visit. I never told her I was doing benzos. I don’t know what happened first. But I tried making plans with so many people for them to flake out and I was feeling betrayed and angry that I moved back here, now I’m stuck. That’s the darkest couple weeks of my life. I was taking massive doses of benzos. Equivalents of 50mg of xanax/day. Who tf knows. I had hundreds of pills. I was popping a pill every couple of hours. Snapping a bar in half. Arielle cancelled whatever intentions of visiting me. I thought if I sent crazy shit to everyone I knew. Surely, someone would recognize that I’m having a mental breakdown and be nice to me, right? Nope. I ended up with a broken jaw and no treatment for 10 days because I’m a bad poor druggy who deserves to suffer. It’s a long story. I’ll write about it soon. I did tell Arielle I was going to kill myself, I said a lot of mean things to her. I’m lucky she hasn’t filed a restraining order for real. But, the reason she hasn’t is because she has said nice things to me about caring about me. Which is why I talk to her. Because she has said she wants to help and stuff. But she’s either not good at it or just said it due to some sort of pressure to say the right thing. The hospital was a traumatic and painful experience. I suffered severe injuries due to neglect. I was humiliated, mocked, insulted. That’s the help everyone was telling me to get. Holy shit. It was worse than I feared. The medical system is a fucking joke. Especially if you’re uninsured. I was pretty much tortured and put in jail for 10 days, because I tried to kill myself with a drug overdose. I was charged $50,000+ for it too. Probably more. I don’t know. I never talk to debt collectors. I’ll write about the hospital experience. I said really mean things to Arielle in the week I attempted suicide. I’m embarrassed and it saddens me that I have that much anger and sadness inside of me. But it’s a projection of the abuse I have suffered my entire life at the hands of my parents and others. I still get abused. I don’t want to be here. I didn’t want to move back. But I’m here. But I see her as being of a noble family. While, I am a peasant. Her brother is the same. She doesn’t understand the suffering I have gone through because she has been so sheltered. Hi, I would like 1 living wage job. I would like to live in one of your properties too. They never offered me help or friendship when I needed it. They knew I was struggling. I told both of them in person when I lived near them. “The thing that would help me the most. Is just having a friend. Someone to do things with, hang out with. Text me every other week or something”. I’ve said that to both of them in person and in text. I’ve said that to my brothers and all kinds of people. I remember telling that to her brother at the apartment in their Dad’s machine shop. I told him the story about how Lauren overdosed and I almost cried. I told him how messing with heroin was a huge mistake that I regret and I told him that it’s seriously something that you shouldn’t mess around with because it messes with your brain and body in an extreme manner. I remember her brother offered Lauren a job part time. I remember being like, I’ll work there part time. I actually have some experience on a lathe/mill. I always got the vibe that he was attracted to Lauren. He bought adderall from her and paid double what it was worth as a way to help her out. Flex or kindness? Sent her “I miss you” texts. This was all in my head leading up to the suicide attempt. I tried talking to Lauren too. It didn’t go well. That was pretty much the last time I talked to her. I actually have the suicide attempt on video. I made a voice recording too. It’s not graphic. You just see me convulse and the TV almost falls over from my body flopping around but I eventually lose consciousness and laid on the floor for about an hour. Then slept on the couch for a little bit more. Wake up and I’m like, oh shit. I need to go to a hospital. Then, my brother wouldn’t take me to the hospital because his friend was coming over, lol. In a previous entry. I wrote about the piercing high frequency noise I heard and how my jaw clenched down uncontrollably. I said to myself “don’t fight it, just let go” and that’s the last thing I remember. So, yeah. Maybe Arielle shouldn’t ghost me. Maybe I shouldn’t even talk to her. I mean. It was mostly out of desperation and she seemed to kind of be nice but yeah.

How fucking pathetic is it that this is the only human who will talk to me. I should be grateful to this person. Because I would have nothing without them

I want someone who is going to be nice to me. Tell me things. Talk about things with me. Tell me a joke, an idea. Hey, check this out, want to join me? I’ve spent a lot of time with Arielle. Days together, camping and trips. But I never felt open with her like I did with Lauren. With Arielle, it’s walking on eggshells a lot of the time. Given, we were both much younger when we met. I still feel like she’s pretty similar to how she was when I met her.

I spent over 3 years with Lauren. We worked together, lived together. I feel like when I talked to Lauren she actually liked me. If the roles were reversed Holy shit. I would do whatever I could to help her. I would’ve done the same for Lauren. If Lauren or Arielle told me stories of how people abuse her, like I share on here. Holy shit. I would do whatever I could to help in any way possible. Arielle and her brother could do a lot to help me. It just takes hitting some buttons on a phone. Send me a message or something. But they won’t, because they’re of such a higher status than me. They are willing to let me suffer and die. Do I deserve this because I am a man or something? Why is there such a huge double standard when it comes to being complacent with the abuse I suffer?

#raised by narcissists

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